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Chapter 10:

Mr. Malibu Talks Royalty

In this series of Mr. Malibu articles, Cary ONeal utilizes creative poetic license, extensive research and conscious observations that bring new understanding to the narrative of superstars and fame itself.

Princess Catherine “Kate” Middleton

“Kate” Middleton was born in 1982, the same year “E.T.” and Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” were released, (still the highest selling album of all time). These were part of the ‘80’s “global psyche” as Kate arrived in the world and would later echo that there is more majesty in phoning home than arriving by acute propofol intoxication.

Our beloved Michael did not leave in vain as the light on addiction shined brighter and inspired Majestic Kate to create The Forward Trust’s “Taking Action on Addiction,” which prompted me to invite her to join forces with HeartAscent.  

Kate was thrilled to be from another planet called England where stars don’t collide with their untimely end unless the star chamber says. Kate would become extraterrestrial in society after growing up in Chapel Row, Berkshire. Chapel Row itself changed forever because of her. Even her new puppy is considered royalty, with all the eligible male spaniel bachelors secretly wishing for a royal wedding with her. 

A stickler of stuffiness may say that Kate is the first “commoner” to marry into the royal family since the 17th century. What is common about her? Royalty is seen in word, action and honesty, even with personality traits that do not cater to everyone. 

Is the unseen power of Kate’s magnetic heart a type of royalty? Kate has something sought by all kings and queens and it wasn’t earned with royalty lessons or by trying to imitate female Pharaoh Hatshepsut. Though Kate beams an organic charisma that leaps out and wallops any camera, it wasn’t like this in her childhood.

Kate’s father was a flight dispatcher and her mother a flight attendant prior to establishing their own business, Party Pieces, a mail-order company that sells party supplies and decorations, worth about $40 million in 1987. They could easily afford to treat Kate to a manicure and an occasional couture dress but refrained from gifting her with a pink diamond-studded Rolls Royce convertible because that could spoil the party. 

Kate was cruelly teased while attending the $13,000-per-term Downe House School. Girls are cliquey by nature, and they can be rather cruel to an attractive peer seen as a possible threat to their pecking order. The quiet Kate was heard crying herself to sleep. She would later ask people at her wedding to support an anti-bullying organization, a request from her experience at Downe House.

In contrast, prior to Downe, she spent six happy years, boarding for the final two, at the co-educational St Andrew’s School in Pangbourne, where she had an active circle of friends.

Kate was accepted to University of Edinburgh but decided to wait a year and go to St. Andrews College, where Prince William (“Wills”) would be beginning at the same time.  Soon the two would meet and Wills would invite her to join him for breakfast with his other school friends, Fergus Boyd and Eton.

There was a college fashion show where Wills, Fergus and other friends watched Kate walk down the catwalk. Wills could not take his eyes off her. In the direct blast of overwhelming beauty, had he taken his eyes off of her he would indeed have been a royal doofus destined to marry distraction. Instead, some might say he became a knight in shining amour.

Unbeknownst to the media, Wills and Kate spent all kinds of time together boating, golfing and walking. They lived in the same hall of residence and later lived together. They had time and relative privacy to get to know each other as friends.

Their graduation was a good day for everyone, as the Queen and the royal family were present. It was not such a good day as it was now open season for the paparazzi, who would pull any punch to capture an image of a first kiss or an on-camera sneeze. Magazines and newspapers approached students offering to clear their student debt for stories about Kate and Wills.

In November 2006, Kate accepted a position as an accessory buyer with the clothing chain, Jigsaw, where she worked part-time until November 2007. She also worked until January 2011 at her parents’ company, Party Pieces. 

Wills enrolled in the Royal Military Academy after college. However, the couple still showed up at royal events together, one of which was on December 15, 2006. Kate, accompanied by her parents, attended Wills’ academy graduation ceremony. The brass band played the song “Dancing Queen” by Abba. One could imagine Princess Diana looking over Wills and Kate from above. 

The official inquest into Diana’s death was made public that week, stating that the crash in Paris nine years before was a “tragic accident.” While Wills may have felt some closure, obviously no report could approach the depth of loss he felt and still feels today. Many are not aware that Princess Diana dined at Malibu’s Tra di Noi and that Wills was a frequent surfer.

Wills decided to join the RAF as a search and rescue pilot, which would postpone his official duties for another five years. This was a complete surprise to Kate and a jolt to her. A military scorned hath no fury like a woman’s clock. He told her if they could survive this, they could survive anything.

Kate and Wills survived the extended time passing with ups and downs, announcing their engagement in November 2010. The magnificent wedding took place on April 20, 2011 at Westminster Abbey in front of over 300 million people worldwide, all basking in the nostalgia of an everlasting romance and the heavenly marriage ceremony that only a prince and princess could experience.

For the moment, Kate and Wills are rocketing forward in family life. So far, the Duke and Duchess have three children: Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis.

So, what made Kate famous? She took royalty by the horns and rode that bucking bronco with lightning quick equanimity. When she broke up with Wills three years before the marriage, she proceeded to show up at parties having a ball. He came back. If he didn’t, he might not be that famous.

Cary ONeal’s high-profile events and celebrity interviews reach over 22 million on television, 500,000 via social media and nearly 4 million on YouTube. Visit and to learn more. Look for more Mr. Malibu chapters in next month’s issue.