For some time, many mothers have created a perception of perfection to prove they can effortlessly balance everything in life. They appear to have it totally together, often prompting the question, “How do you do it all?”
Truthfully? No mom has it totally together—a freeing revelation that’s the central theme of the podcast Motherhood Uncut, launched last year by Deb Rubin and Kate Kripke. The Boulder-based licensed clinical social workers became fast friends years ago after meeting in a moms’ group, then officing their private practices in the same building. Kate founded the Postpartum Wellness Center of Boulder and runs her own maternal health consulting business, while Deb focuses on teaching Mother Daughter Journey workshops designed to strengthen those bonds.
Using their extensive training and personal experiences (each have two adolescent daughters), Deb and Kate have built their careers on coaching mothers through all stages of their journey. Now, with wisdom, searing vulnerability and uber-contagious laughter, they chat publicly about the less-discussed, less-than-pretty moments that also define motherhood.
“What Deb and I are doing is not typical of how therapists move through the world,” Kate says. “We don't traditionally share a lot of ourselves with our clients. But with this podcast, we go first in acknowledging that we don't know the answers so that other people can do the same.”
Unedited and unfiltered, the podcast was born from equally organic conversations the two friends had while sitting on their front porches, hiking or out to dinner. It covers topics such as motherhood and sexuality, substance abuse, depression and judgment. With every episode, Deb and Kate keep it real in the hopes of shattering the illusion of perfection.
“Kate and I have had many moments when we’d just crawl into each other’s beds in tears,” Deb says. “In those times, we could hold the other one up and lend perspective. I think the stigma around asking for help is changing rapidly. The willingness to be really human is becoming much more normalized.”
Knowing they aren’t alone in experiencing the messier parts of mothering also shaped the inception of Motherhood Uncut. In their work and in their personal lives, Deb and Kate came to understand the value of not shying away from support from other mothers. The village mentality, Deb says, is something mothers need now more than ever. Above all, their desire is to help women feel seen.
For their second season, the duo started interviewing guests for their views on motherhood. In a recent episode, those guests were their four daughters, who are just as close with one another as their moms. It was a no-holds-barred, tell-all conversation where they talked openly about the way their mothers parented.
“They were very honest, which is so cool,” Kate says. “We said, ‘We’re going to love you no matter what. We’re all clumsily figuring this out together.’”
Motherhood Uncut is a home for real conversations, a place where embracing the uncomfortable is encouraged. It’s also a source of joy as each relatable topic nurtures deeper connections and serves as a reminder that moms shouldn’t strive for perfection—they should take mistakes and struggles and turn them into opportunities for growth and strength.
“What makes the podcast work is our willingness to talk about the hard things,” Kate says. “If you're willing to lean into the messy and the hard, you're going to benefit exponentially.”