Rob Kennedy and Tim Schreiber have always had a lot in common. They married sisters, they each have two boys close in age, and they each have a wacky sense of humor. But one commonality recently arose that made their bond even stronger. Rob needed a kidney and Tim had one to give.
Rob and Sarah Kennedy and Beth and Tim Schreiber have been close for many years. Beth and Sarah are sisters and self-described best friends, daughters of Mary Louise Zapp-Knapp, and granddaughters of the late Missoula matriarch, Patricia Zapp. As husbands to sisters, Rob and Tim formed a great friendship.
“Sarah and I come from powerful, loud women and these guys have been one another’s safety nets. They have been pretty tight from day one,” said Beth.
When Rob was a teenager, a doctor discovered some evidence of decreased kidney function. Though the diagnosis rarely affected his daily life, he was always aware that the time may come when a transplant would be necessary. For years it was something he monitored as his levels held steady.
Then in 2017 following a blood draw for an infected wisdom tooth, Rob received the startling news that his kidney was functioning at twenty percent and a transplant was likely in his future.
“I remember sitting in my work car,” said Rob, a detective with the Missoula County Sheriff’s Office. “I pulled over to the side of the road when the doctor called me. He said you need to have a transplant and you need to start thinking about that. I drove home and waited for Sarah and the boys to get home and I told them. We all cried and then figured it out and here we are.”
Rob was put on a donor registry but he would need to wait for a suitable match and the odds were that it would be from someone who just passed away.
“Live donation is always a much better outcome,” said Sarah. “So we asked everybody who was willing to go through the process to get tested. Tim stepped up and really wanted to do it.”
There are many different factors when it comes to compatibility of a potential donor including blood type, age, and even body size. It’s very unusual to find a compatible match in someone outside the family, so when Tim was eventually identified as a possibility, everyone was surprised and also very hopeful. Both Rob and Tim flew to Seattle where they were subjected to a battery of tests by a litany of medical professionals and even social workers to make sure they were of sound mind for such a daunting procedure.
“I can’t believe I passed,” laughed Tim.
The exciting news then came that Tim was indeed a match but the transplant didn’t happen right away. The best outcome for Rob would be that his kidneys would continue to function at a low but acceptable level, keeping him from ever having to go through the transplant process. The doctor continued to monitor Rob while Tim bided his time, always with Rob’s health in the back of his mind.
Then, the time came.
“I waited for several years, slowly watching that function decline,” said Rob. “I reached Stage 5 kidney disease and that was the triggering point”
The transplant was scheduled for July 12, 2021. Rob and Tim went to Seattle about a week before and stayed in a hotel until they went to Swedish Hospital for surgery at midnight on Sunday July 11. The surgery was a resounding success. Beth tells the story that following the operation Tim kept walking by Rob’s room asking if Rob was awake. Beth peeked into Rob’s room and posed the question to Sarah. Up pops Rob’s thumb and Tim slipped into the room where the two men shared a fist bump and lots of tears.
Tim was able to leave Seattle and come home within a week. Rob and Sarah stayed in Seattle for six weeks in a hotel while Rob recovered. During that time, Mary Louise said many extended family members pitched in to help and take care of Rob and Sarah’s sons.
The impact of the sacrifice Tim made will be with both men and their families forever, yet Tim is still surprised how much his selfless act of kindness has touched other people, even those that don’t know the family.
“When people have reactions and say ‘wow’, his first response is to ask why it’s such a big deal to everybody. He thinks everyone would do this,” said Beth.
Which is why it’s so important to Tim that everyone knows they could do the same for someone they love, or even a stranger. The list of those suffering from kidney disease is long and the number of live donations each year is short.
“It’s unbelievable how many people are just sitting on a list and they can’t get kidneys waiting for a deceased donor, so when someone does this and gives life it’s amazing. Tim is the hero here,” said Sarah.
Tim’s advice to those considering becoming a live kidney donor is to do your research as there are many misconceptions.
“What you think you know about kidney donation, you really don’t know,” said Tim. The incisions are smaller, recovery is shorter, and there is often little to no expense to the donor.
“There was a little bit of pain. It felt like I did a bunch of stomach crunches, but what are three or four days of pain for saving a life?”
As for Rob, he can never thank Tim enough.
“The fact that he would step up and do that for me, for my kids, my wife, save my life, I can never repay that debt,” said Rob. “I think about him every day and how I can repay him. I know I can never do that. It’s beyond words. “
If you are interested in learning more about becoming a live donor, contact LifeCenter Northwest at lcnw.org for more information.
