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The Competitive Sport of Brunching


Article by de Laurence Burnes

Photography by de Laurence Burnes

You know those personal questions they ask you in an interview like, “What are your hobbies?” or “Tell us something about yourself that isn’t on your resume.” Normally, we will say something that would make us sound as professional as possible. But if we were being really honest, we’d probably go into great detail about our love of brunch, our deep knowledge of where to get the best Kiwi Bellini in DFW, and how one should prepare in order to make it through an entire Sunday Funday with the Brunch Empire crew.

Since this isn’t a job interview, we CAN be honest with our brunch-loving followers. To answer the question, for us, brunching has become a competitive sport! We are here to explain how you can start thinking like an athlete and start spring training now to prepare for Sunday Funday all summer long.

Track and Field

Olympic times are typically displayed to the hundredths of a second. We don’t bring this type of stopwatch to the brunch table, but make no mistake, every second counts! Brunch is the perfect opportunity to connect with friends and family or network with a group of other like-minded young professionals. Regardless of who you are with, you are having a great time! The only thing getting in the way of the perfect Sunday Funday is the lingering feeling in the back of your mind that you have to wake up for work in the morning.

In most track and field events, it is a race against the clock, and the person who finishes first wins. At brunch, it is also a race against the clock, and any skilled brunch athlete knows that the winner has the most fun before it is time to be responsible and go home (in a Lyft, of course). Set yourself up for brunching success and a productive Monday morning, and give yourself a time that you have to leave the party. Trust us, you will thank us in the morning.


The most important skill that a soccer player or brunch athlete can have is precision. Laser-sharp accuracy is what separates a good athlete from a GREAT athlete. At brunch, laser-sharp drink choices and food ordering accuracy are key to determining if you will have a good brunch or GREAT brunch. Take your time in looking at the menu, the same way that a soccer player takes their time selecting the most strategic teammate to pass the ball. Pick a meal that satisfies whatever craving you may have but is ALSO something that you can’t easily whip up at home yourself. You probably (hopefully) won’t find Gatorade on the menu, so pick a drink that will satisfy what you are trying to achieve. Are you looking to indulge a bit? Go for that whipped chocolate frappe. Want to feel energized the rest of the day? Order the kale and beet juice. No matter what you order, make sure you are confident in your choice. There is nothing worse than order envy and wishing you picked what the person next to you is enjoying! 


Recognized as a sport (don’t @ me), chess requires mental exertion that manifests itself physically. It has rules and etiquette AND it is extremely competitive. Just like chess, brunch has rules and etiquette as well. For instance, it is rude to be late to a planned group brunch, especially when the host won’t seat your group until everyone in your party is present! The strategic game of brunch is very important, too. Picking your brunching destination can determine the waterfall of events to follow. If you make one wrong move, like not making reservations, you could end up at a less than desirable spot or wait for hours in line to eat. If you wear the wrong outfit (this can be avoided by wearing the perfect Brunch Empire class T-shirt), you are missing an opportunity for creative expression that you don’t satisfy at home now that you are working remotely. So, just like any brilliant chess player, make sure your brunching strategy is on point as it can make or break your Sunday Funday.

Marathon Running

The idea that brunch is a marathon is the most important but perhaps the most difficult to master. Any seasoned Sunday Funday athlete will tell you that you want to pace yourself. Bottomless mimosas SOUND like a good idea but are usually a recipe for disaster if your eyes are on the long game. Remember to have a good time, but having too many cocktails too early can ruin your plans for a fun afternoon. When it comes to style, comfort is key. Any marathon runner will tell you that a good pair of shoes is critical on those last miles. If you are restaurant, rooftop, and outdoor patio hopping, the last thing you want to do is be THAT PERSON in the group that is complaining about their feet. Lastly, stay hydrated and well-fueled, and luckily, brunch is all about eating and drinking!! 

We hope you fellow brunchers and aspirational brunch athletes have fun this spring and start training now for a serious summer brunching season ahead. 

Eat brunch and be merry!

~Brunch Empire Crew