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Lifting the Veil Behind the Scale

Article by Audrey Zona

Photography by Audrey Zona

I was a very overweight child, and at the age of 12, went off to diet camp. I felt so much shame around my appearance and the number on the scale. Kids bullied me, and I was left out of things. The shame I felt became a big wound inside of me.

After experiencing some weight loss, a part of me had to make sure I would never experience that wound again, so here comes perfectionism, the need to have an image of "perfect.". My entire life, I've tried to be perfect to avoid the pain of that wound.

I recently put on about 7 pounds. At first glance, that 7 pounds was a threat to my image of perfectionism, but I know that in order to heal an old wound, I have to care for it, not avoid it. In a weird way, I'm grateful to the 7 pounds because I now have the opportunity to engage that wounded child inside of me.

When we feel shame, we feel unworthy of love, but now I have the opportunity to share that love with my inner child, who so needs my attention. Talk to that little girl inside of you; she needs you! I'm learning to be my very own best friend, and so should you. The scale and the 7 pounds just don't matter. I know that when I really listen, the weight will come off the way it's supposed to, with love, not anger or aggression.

As a culture, we're so attached to the scale, our weight and appearance, and social media doesn't help!! What I've found to be super helpful when trying to shed the extra weight is to focus on how I actually "feel" when eating certain foods. Do I feel alive? Do I feel energetic and light? How's my mood? When directing the focus on how my body feels vs. "how many calories am I consuming?" or "Will this make me fat?", I end up listening to my inner voice, or intuition—and that works! Magically the scale ticks downward, all the while listening and paying attention to the little girl inside who needs to be cared for, not beaten up.

Many people are trying desperately to lose the "quarantine 15" with aggressive diets and starvation techniques, but I can assure you, they only work very short-term. Consider actually listening to your inner child/voice; you might be pleasantly surprised! If you're looking for some support, my eight-week, online weight loss program starts on Sept. 22. I'll teach you everything you need to know about losing weight in a loving, caring way! Check it out at