Your Guide to Twin Flames


Article by Asanti

Photography by Asanti

"You’ll probably have many soul mates, but there will always be just one twin flame.” —Chris Pleines

Think of the word flame in its natural context—a stream of hot, burning gas from something on fire. Like a stream of hot, burning gas from a single source, twin flames share a single source of their passion—their soul. “You are me, and I am you” is what twin flames represent, one soul divided into two bodies in yin and yang energies. Unlike soulmates, twin flames speak of a connection that is founded more on supernatural elements than physical elements. It’s a spiritual connection which is often romanticized because of the undeniable magnetic pull twin flames experience for one another. 

So, how do you recognize your twin flame?

First, you need to recognize what twin flames are not. It’s not that of a typical infatuation and although it can be romanticized it’s much more than a simple romance. Your twin flame is the one person that can bring you back to your true authentic self . One person who truly loves every part of you. “You are eternally connected and unlike other connections it’s the only love that can never be eroded by time or difficulties”.

The Preparation

During the preparation stage you’ll encounter multiple karmic partners as well as a “false twin” that teaches us valuable life lessons and are ultimately a catalyst for your personal growth, your spiritual awakening and your initial twin flame union. For me, my preparation stage was literally a blueprint of my actual twin flame journey. 

The Soul Recognition

Now that you know the above, recognizing your twin flame is like identifying the scent of your choice of perfume on a stranger’s body. It doesn’t matter if the stranger is far or near, or if his clothes are exquisite, or straightforward. You know the smell because you have worn the perfume at least once before. Connections with strangers are generally considered to be unsafe; it takes a mystic conviction to build such a relationship. Likewise, your twin flame may come like a gift box with no name. He/she won’t necessarily be at the same level of emotional, spiritual, or mental ascent at the time of your initial union, but there will be a sense of comfortability, and a remembrance. He/she will remind you of you, or at least, how you used to be. It’s that soul recognition!

The Runner and The Chaser

The runner chaser stage characterizes a subconscious fear of the depth of the connection you share with your twin. This is more pronounced if the twins have always been in control of their environment and emotions. The fear of having someone else hold the reins to our emotions is really the issue here. The underlying fear of being abandoned, and/or heartbroken which stems from insecurities and feelings of unworthiness usually prompts the runner to run. The runner begins to believe that a connection of that magnitude must be too good to be true. The paranoia kicks in and the doubts and insecurities take over which is the beginning of a series of self sabotaging behavior. The chaser clings on to the love that they intuitively feel and know to be true, and begin to energetically chase despite the runners self sabotaging behavior. 

The Ascension

At this point there is a lift off in this  spiritual, self love journey. Both twins will begin to act and talk in similar ways that “triggers” a déjà vu of past experiences. This ascension process is solely to bring to fore all the emotional baggage that has been gathered over the years, and kept locked up inside of them, to be healed and expelled. This stage might cause a bit of friction between the twin flames as the dark part of your selves are finally illuminated. Once freed from this darkness, only then can you showcase the best version of yourself to the world and even strike others to do the same. It’s at this stage in the twin flame dynamic where the love for self emerges and all the hidden truths in regards to friends and family are revealed. This is where significant life changes happen as twin flames begin choosing to love themselves, walking away from anything and anyone who doesn’t have a positive impact on their life and compromises their mental, emotional and financial stability.  

The Surrender

In this stage, ego is doused with Love. At this point the twin flames stop resisting the connection they have and give in to it. They no longer operate from a place of ego, and from their minds, but rather from their hearts. They exhibit  faith in decision making and have fully let go of their need for control. At this point, they’ve not only surrendered to the connection, but have surrendered to the divine and begin to exude self love. For the “runner”, this entails realizing that self love includes allowing yourself to be loved. For the “chaser”, this entails realizing that self love is about knowing your worth, and knowing that you deserve more than a love that’s unrequited. 


A place of rest. The twin flames are finally whole. They aren’t seeking out others to complete themselves. They have become one with themselves, thus becoming one with one another and the entire universe. Here they acknowledge that we are all connected to each other, and the universe, as we are all birthed from the same source by whom is God. They are in unity! 

The twin flame journey is a spiritual ascension journey which leads you back home to your most genuine expression of self and source.  As already emphasized, you need to understand who you are. And that is what the conflicts, and crisis within the twin flame dynamic  opens us up for—an evaluation of self. It's a journey deeply rooted in unconditional self love so that you in return will be able to give love unconditionally to others. How can you love yourself if you are not aware of yourself? How can you be mindful of yourself if you don't constantly re-evaluate your reality, engage with and overcome those battles in your mind? As spiritual beings having a physical experience here on Earth we have all been conditioned and we all have emotional baggage, or core wounds that we’ve buried rather than acknowledged, felt and released. If you haven’t done this, how would you become a better person, for your benefit and society's? Man, know thyself, and love thyself. 

Check out these celebrity twin flame couples.

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