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Understanding the 5 Love Languages 


Article by Avishai David

Photography by Provided

It takes more than going out on dates or wowing your partner with expensive gifts to really get in their feelings. The actual key to having a lasting and beautiful relationship with a partner is learning their primary love language and taking a broad look at it. It actually isn’t difficult if you know what spot to hit and how to hit it right.

According to Gary Chapman, the author of the book The 5 Love Languages, people express or tend to favor either words of affirmation, quality time, giving gifts, acts of service or physical touch. Each of these differ from person to person. The key is to know which love language to administer primarily and keeping your partner's “love tank full” by pouring all five love languages into them in the order that’s most gratifying to them and at the right time. 

Words of Affirmation

This love language is verbal, and it applies to partners who are very particular about verbal compliments. A simple, “Thanks for doing the dishes” or “I love you” would go miles in shaping the relationship you have with such people. It’s very pertinent to pay attention to your partner to note when they are perked up or show signs of happiness when verbal compliments are given to them. Keep doing this and see your relationship blossom.

Quality Time

Unlike the former, this group likes for you to show them you love them by trying to spend as much time with them as possible. Prioritizing time for them out of your very busy schedule to talk and listen to them will give you an edge in the relationship—and when I say time, that means they get your undivided attention. No television, no smartphone and social media; just you and him/her, and their day is made! Most importantly, take the time to participate in things they enjoy doing.

Giving Gifts

Who doesn’t like getting gifts? Well, the generic gift giving isn’t what matters to this set. They are more interested in a thoughtful random gift giving. For example, booking a weekend getaway at a place they have shown interest in for quite some time after a long week at the office.

Physical Touch

Physical touch is one of the love languages that most people tend to overdo. A simple hug, hand holding, massage or even a kiss could be all your partner craves. Physical touch can be the most effective love language as it doesn’t require monetary spending. Just a simple back rub may be all your partner needs.

Acts of Service

Volunteering to help your partner in any way to ease their burden could actually do a whole lot. Actions speak louder than words! Mowing the lawn, walking the dog, or even just helping get groceries could actually place you on a pedestal that makes your partner adore you.

Knowing the love languages isn’t enough; understanding when, where and for whom to apply them is key. Not everybody wants to be touched, and not everybody might be overly excited by being given a gift. It’s also important to note the fact that some partners actually have more than one love language and they crave them at different times. Understanding which love language your partner favors would ultimately lead to a healthy, happy and loving relationship.

Discover your primary love language by taking this quiz.

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