You are not perfect. You have flaws. Guess what? You don't have to be perfect to love yourself.
What is Self-Love?
According to Positive Psychology, self-love is “a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, and spiritual growth.” (Khoshaba, 2012)
As a life coach, I have the opportunity to speak with several woman regarding self-love. The majority of the time, it tends to be the root cause of their insecurities and lack of self-confidence. We have all been there. Even as a child, when a parent holds us in their arms, smothers us with kisses and whispers "Mommy/Daddy loves you," it takes us to a different place—a place of security. As we transition to being adults, we look for that type of affirmation from those who we hold close to our heart. At some point when you are on your own, conquering life's everyday battles, it's important to learn to love yourself. It adds great value to your own personal growth.
Let's discuss 10 ways to fall in love with yourself:
1. Learn to Forgive Your Mistakes
It's time to stop living in the past. Stop punishing yourself for your mistakes that you made as a child, as a sister, as a wife, as a mom, as an employee, as a friend. Instead, learn from your mistakes and move on.
2. Make a List of Your Strengths & Weaknesses
This exercise is important. We often spend too much feeling defeated that we don't have a particular skillset or talent. What about our strengths? Your passion for life equals your strength. Stand tall and share your passion with others.
3. Learn How to Say "No" to Others
I know this can be difficult. However, it is important for you not to overextend yourself. When you have a hard time saying "no" to others, you are putting yourself at risk of not being able to accomplish your own personal goals.
4. Celebrate Your Accomplishments
Every woman should have her own "brag book." How you share your brag book is up to you. At least once a year—I tend to do this my birthday month—write down all your goals you have accomplished and start planning your goals for the next year. You need to pat yourself on the back as much as you can. You deserve it!
5. Surround Yourself with Positive People
I know this sounds cliché, but there are so many benefits of surrounding yourself with positive people. People who are constantly raising the bar. People who are constantly focusing on their own self-development. Positive thoughts can help eliminate negativity. It allows you to think clearly in the midst of challenging situations. Get your daily dose of positivity!
6. Find Excuses to Laugh
Laughter is indeed the best medicine. It helps lower your blood pressure, reduce your stress levels, improve your heart health and it is contagious! How good does it feel when you can make others have a good laugh? Share some laughter today!
7. Take a "Selfie"
Can you please stop and take a look at yourself and see what others see? Trust me when I say people don't see your stretch marks or your thinning hair. If you are not happy with your current "look," then guess what? YOU can change it. Try a new hair color or hair style, new makeup or a wardrobe upgrade—anything that helps build your self confidence. Then capture that look in the privacy of your own home. Learn to love the way you look. When you like what you see, it adds to your confidence. Turn heads without saying a word.
8. Build Your Social Calendar
Why is this important? Because you get to continuously work on your social and professional network. Whether you attend a happy hour or volunteer for a charity, you get the opportunity to expand your immediate circle. It provides unexpected opportunities for growth.
9. Create Memories
Make your own memories. Plan a girls weekend. Capture moments in time that you cherish that took your breath away. No amount of money can take the place of the memories you are able to create. Most importantly, you should not wait on others to make memories for you.
10. Allow Others to Love You
At some point, your heart will get hurt. This does not mean that you stop allowing others to love you. Mend your heart. Learn from your hurt. You need love to give love.