Parenting is never easy. For a parent of a child with autism, the day often begins before the sun rises and ends long after everyone has gone to sleep. It's a life full of routines, unpredictability, advocacy, and a different kind of love. One built on patience, resilience, and fierce protection.
Mornings can be both structured and chaotic. We wake up to prepare for any number of possible landmines— sensory sensitivities from the texture of a shirt, the sound of a dog barking, or a sudden change in routine, such as a school delay or traffic. Getting dressed, brushing teeth, or eating breakfast may involve negotiations, visual schedules, or meltdowns.
Yet there are moments of calm. Sharing a good laugh together, a proud smile after completing a task done independently— these small victories are enormous in the world of autism parenting.
While our daughter is at school or in a therapy session I am far from free. Most of the time I'm spending time communicating with teachers, therapists or specialists. I might be in Individualized Education Plan (IEP) meetings or on the phone with insurance. These are but a few of the behind-the-scenes battles others never see. Our child is non-verbal. We are in a state of hypervigilance, even from a distance, waiting for a phone call from the school or therapist. Always prepared to jump in case something arises.
After school, more structure and routine. Our daughter attends ABA (Applied Behavior Analysis) therapy most days after school. Some days we have speech or swim lessons. Dinner consists of a rigid set of rules: same foods, same plate, same chair. There are joyful rituals— jumping on the trampoline, swinging, spinning, and also watching the same show for the hundredth time, because it brings comfort.
When it's finally time to relax we have our routines filled with a lot of reflection. Asking myself— did I miss anything? Was there progress made today? Guilt and hope often sit side by side. We, as autism parents, prepare for the next day— reaching out to support groups, or scrolling the internet to seek answers to new challenges. At the end of the day, we love deeply, and we advocate fiercely. We always hope for more understanding from the world.
A day in the life of an autism parent is exhausting yet so rewarding, rigid yet unpredictable, isolating yet full of love. Thankfully to this amazing state and town we live in it is a bit less stressful. It may not be the life we expected, but it is a life we live with courage and unconditional devotion. Behind every autistic child there are parents fighting battles few will ever see. More importantly, we win every little success day by day.
Editor's Note: Justin Washington is a photographer determined to bring family photography to his community. You can reach him via email justinwashington4@icloud.com or find him on Instagram @401_Vision.
It's a life full of routines, unpredictability, advocacy, and a different kind of love. One built on patience, resilience, and fierce protection.