What if your final months, weeks, days and hours could be… peaceful?
What if you had someone to hold your hand, help you and/or your family with preparations, walk you through what to expect and simply be there for whatever you needed?
End-of-Life Doula
An age-old profession is making a meaningful comeback: the death/end-of life doula. It’s similar to a birth doula, helping shepherd a life from one stage to the next and providing knowledge and compassion along the way.
“One of the biggest things we’ve done is just opening doors to talk about it,” says Kater Taylor, an end-of-life doula and life-planning specialist with Choosing Peace Doula Services.
Taylor and business partner Liz Gazzola offer advance-care planning, end-of-life doula services, breathwork techniques for grief and more.
While hospice typically is responsible for the plan of care and clinical support of a patient, death doulas serve in a non-medical support role. They are not meant to replace hospice, but rather to serve alongside it to fill in gaps in care and support—things like planning, education, emotional support and companionship for clients and/or their families. Both Gazzola and Taylor also volunteer with hospice.
Some people begin work with end-of-life doulas years or even decades in advance; others request services in their (or their loved ones’) final weeks or days. Anytime is the right time.
Advance-Care + Legacy Planning
For those with time in front of them, advance-care planning is excellent for peace of mind.
“Knowledge is power,” Gazzola says. “Having a plan is a great way to decrease anxiety.”
Taylor works with clients to plan for current and future care. These plans range from medical directives to financial preparation to funeral planning in order to create a practical, safe and realistic aging plan. Taylor calls advance planning “a gift” to family, who will know exactly what you want, eliminating guesswork and regret.
“I create a binder with them,” Taylor says.
That can include basics such as financial information and personal and family history, as well as vigil planning information—does the client want a full church service, a memorial in a favorite park or an informal gathering at their home?
Taylor and Gazzola also can help with “legacy planning,” which helps clients do a life review to highlight what matters to them. Perhaps that means writing letters to loved ones, explaining what is in that box of military medals or where that beautiful quilt in the cedar chest came from.
“I think sometimes, some of those things get lost,” Taylor says.
Importantly, advance planning can also help provide thoughtful guidance on what a client would like his/her later years to look like under different health scenarios. It can even specify how a client envisions his/her final hours—quiet with one or two people; everyone they know in the room, belting out favorite songs. Wishes can change over time and the plan can easily evolve, as desired.
While hiring an end-of-life doula is private pay, Gazzola and Taylor stress that they work with families to design a plan that fits their needs and their budget. They are here to help everyone.
Breathwork for Grief
In addition to her role as end-of-life doula, Gazzola also specializes in breathwork for grief.
Breathwork is a technique of Conscious Connected Breathing designed to help release trapped emotion and grief. A session involves guided breathing that can tap into the sympathetic nervous system, where grief is held, to foster healing for clients and their families.
“It’s pretty powerful stuff,” Gazzola says.
Other Services
Everything is customized. Taylor and Gazzola are available in person or virtually to provide whatever planning, care and comfort a family requests—and to provide suggestions regarding things they might never have considered.
They can gently help introduce the topic of planning and/or final wishes. They can organize visitors or meal trains, if needed. They can suggest ways to make a patient more comfortable—turning their bed toward the sunshine, streaming their favorite songs, snuggling them in their favorite blanket.
When Gazzola’s mother passed away years ago, her family was unprepared. Everything felt rushed and chaotic and filled with regret. She decided that things would be different when her father neared the end of his life. She prepared a thoughtful plan and the experience was wonderfully different for the entire family.
“I think the biggest thing we have to offer is education,” Gazzola says, adding that they want to normalize the dying process as a natural part of life and to help eliminate the fear and mystery surrounding it.
“It can be beautiful and peaceful and sacred,” Gazzola says.
Website: https://choosingpeacedoula.com/
Email: ChoosingPeaceDoula@gmail.com
Facebook + Instagram: @ChoosingPeaceDoula
Phone: 817-727-1891