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Boy Mom Revelations


Article by Laura Hartmann

Photography by Laura Hartmann

Well, moms, you made it.

You made it through 2020, and finally, get to embark on a fresh year and hit that reset button. This reset button is SO needed for you as a human, a mom, and most importantly for your kids. They finally get to hear you stop talking about, and complaining about what a terrible year it has been.

If you are like me and have made a huge transition from being a fast-paced career mom in her power suit every day to a stay-at-home mom sporting her minimal selection of athleisure, you know that reaching 2021 has been a milestone we've been focusing on for months.

It's a learning curve to go from embracing new mom life in general, much less than having to adapt to being a working mom for those of us that have done that grind. Remember those first few weeks after maternity leave and heading back to the workforce? They were brutal and filled with so many emotions, guilt, self-doubt, but eventually, it became normal and you found your queen of everything groove.

Then the pandemic hit, and many of us had to start working remotely, juggle homeschooling, or worse, deal with the uncertainty that comes with furlough or a lay-off. Whichever fits your personal scenario, our "mom style" has had to adapt right along with the life changes, and most likely it's taken a LONG time to get used to it.

On the positive side, though, I think it's safe to say we've had the opportunity during this adaptation period to get to know our children better. 2020 allowed us the ability to discover them in ways we never realized, or indulge in moments we might have missed.

We've had more time with them, more highs and lows with them, more life experiences with them, which all essentially has allowed us to learn more from them and about them.

For me, this year of transition after lay-off has taught me a bazillion new life lessons, yet lead me through an incredible journey of personal development, especially as a mom.

Recently, on an afternoon park outing to Barber Park, my family's favorite local neighborhood spot, I was inspired to really mentally process what my kids' souls need. This of course came after a full-blown tackle football session in the large grassy soccer fields of the park, but nevertheless, it got me thinking. As a boy mom to 2 little guys ages 4 and 2, it became about processing what BOYS need. There has been a lot more "free" time to really analyze their behavior, their emotions, their personalities, and their needs. As someone who has struggled to relate to boys in the past, I decided to use my off time to lean in on the needs they were vocalizing and expressing to grow as a parent.

This is when I uncovered a few boy mom revelations.

Maybe it’s not the same for ALL boys, but mine sure seem to make it poignantly clear that there are a handful of must-haves they just need to be happy. Hopefully, these findings are relatable or at the very least, thought-provoking and encouraging for you to apply in your own way... they’re more obvious than we often realize.

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  • I use football interchangeably with physical activity. Mine love sports, and for whatever reason, football seems to be their go-to as it allows them a variety of drills to do with one another. However, in other words, they need an outlet to be physical, tackle, be challenged, and rough house, all in a constructive way. They need to burn off their energy, inner aggression, frustration, and protective mindset in an approved way. Team sports, or mimicking team sports, can be a great way for them to achieve this.


  • This is not just for the above, but it means to be one with nature and the land, and simply RUN FREE. Let them inquire about the sun, moon, and stars. Let them climb, get dirty, and wear themselves out so they actually go to bed at night, or take the nap they are stubbornly fighting. If you live in the country, there is nothing better than that fresh country air. However, if you are in the city, do some research on some local areas or attractions that allow them the option to safely get that sun or wind....or rain on their cheeks. We live in a cul-de-sac and have a fairly large yard, but even with that sometimes it's beneficial to hop on the bikes and let them ride. We visit the park where they can run and climb, or in the summers we take advantage of our 40-minute drive to the beach where the never-ending shore becomes their runway. They are not as picky as you'd think. They just want to be outside, so start getting used to grass stains and the sweat smell.


  • They never stop eating. All of that “football and fresh air” just makes it worse too. Snacks must be available in your purse like a mini version of your pantry at all times. You’ll regret it if you run empty. Don’t do it! I keep little pockets of snacks stocked in all of my bags. I'm still in a diaper bag mode with the little one in mind, so that's usually where the snacks are stocked for outings, but then there is the car snack selection, my purse selection, the porch selection, the garage selection, and the grab 'n' go options for their bike rides. It's never-ending.


  • Not just as brothers Iike mine, but as friends, cousins, teammates, and neighbors too. They need to be around similar beings that challenge them, toughen them up, yet show compassion and accept the crude behaviors that boys can’t shake like passing gas, belching, scratching and so many other things I’m embarrassed to mention. They love the idea of no girls allowed sometimes, and enjoying having their guy time. Let them, and use these "bromance" moments to wash your face or get dressed because those windows are tight!

5.) MOMMY:

  • Yup, they might deny it, so it’s hard to realize how much, but they CRAVE our attention, tenderness, snuggles, conversation, and acceptance. I always assumed having boys meant they'd just want their father all the time, however, I was very wrong. Sure when they get those cool dad moments, we can easily become chopped liver, however, at night as you tuck them in they'll sweetly tell you they will marry you one day. We are their north pole, their compass, and all roads lead back to "where are you, mommy?!" Oh, and, when we teach them that girls can do everything boys can, they expect us to. So get your football pads ready, ladies.

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The list grows every day, and some days certain things are more important than others, but what I do know is THESE 5 will never go away. Remember simple was the keyword here. So as this new year is now upon us, it's a great time to align your new normal with the chance to layer in these core needs for your little boys, as your schedule and household dynamic have most certainly experienced some type of shift.

Physicality, Fresh Air, Companionship, Nourishment, and Love. What more does a boy need?

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