Imagine you’re on a typical Valentine’s Day date with your partner. You know the one—the same dinner-for-two date you've been on a thousand times before. There are pink balloons, a red box of heart-shaped chocolates and intentional hand-holding set at a swanky spot in town. The champagne is chilling, the mood lighting is on, and romance is in the air.
While this image is nice, it's also tiring.
We turned to relationship experts Dr. Meghna Mahambrey and Andy Kuss, a dynamic and powerful husband and wife team for intel on how to make this Valentine's Day one to remember, asking for their relationship tips along the way.
Their company, SPARK Relationship + Sexual Wellness (located in Worthington right behind Kittie's coffeehouse) helps couples build that happy, healthy love life they long for, uncovering the inner-workings of their clients' relationships and exploring the roots of couples' attitudes and behaviors. Through their privately held sessions, Meghna and Andy take a solution-focused approach to addressing your biggest concerns, while utilizing evidence-based strategies, creative ideas and practical tools to help couples get back on track and back to enjoying one another.
When it comes to mixing it up with date ideas, Meghna encourages couples to think back to when they first started dating and recall their favorite date nights in order to avoid the monotony of the dinner date.
"The key is to prioritize engaging activities over passive ones," Meghna says. Think salsa dance lessons, wine tasting outings, perusing an art museum, attending a comedy show, booking a cooking class, playing board games, etc. "Anything that will either get your bodies moving or stimulate rich conversation and laughter between the two of you."
Research shows, she says, that when couples get out of their comfort zone and do something novel together on a regular basis (key word: regular), it forces them to communicate and collaborate in a way they haven't in a long time.
"As a result, they feel a deeper sense of emotional connection, physical attraction, and a sense of romance," Meghna says. "You have to carve out quality time for each other aside from routine responsibilities like housework, finances and parenting. How can you expect to feel the spark you had in the beginning of the relationship when you're not investing the same amount of time and energy anymore? It takes effort, but it's worth it."
While the majority of Meghna and Andy's clients come to them with issues, Meghna confirms that SPARK’s mission is to help singles and couples build a happy, healthy love life.
Research shows that relationship satisfaction is dependent upon experiencing novel experiences together. "This is why taking the time to plan fun, innovative date ideas for Valentine's idea and beyond will help you get out of your relationship rut," Meghna explains.
In order to sustain a strong and fulfilling relationship, Meghna recommends consistent and thoughtful date nights instead of one or two fancy outings a year. This is the key to maintaining the spark long-term.
“Couples tend to put a lot more effort into having fun together in the earlier stages of their relationship,” Meghna says. “During that exciting honeymoon phase, it feels easy to plan interesting things to do together. As we grow more comfortable and committed, however, we can become complacent. And then we wonder why we don’t feel the same level of excitement as we did in the beginning.” She goes on to explain that “by carving out opportunities to spend quality time with one another, we can nurture some of the emotional closeness that we crave.”
Meghna often asks the couples she works with to think back to when they first started going out together, having them make lists of what they used to do for fun. "Then I invite them to brainstorm new and different things that appeal to each of them now, which they might like to explore together," she says.
In order for a date night to be fulfilling (and fun), it needs to be actively engaging, she reiterates, choosing activities mentioned previously like like salsa dance lessons, exploring an art gallery together, signing-up for a cooking class and so on. Meghna explains her logic behind this. “Meals are part of everyday life, but these activities are novel and unique.” No matter if you’re revisiting old hobbies or discovering new adventures, the key is having fun together.
If you’re looking for an event that is out of the norm for you and your partner, SPARK hosts small gatherings in their event space, details for which are on their website. Some of Meghna’s favorite local spots to send couples include Grandview Salsa, The Columbus Museum of Art, Funny Bone, Shadowbox Live, Otherworld, Rare Magic at Hotel LeVeque, Tabletop Game Cafe and Walnut Woods MetroPark.
"How can you expect to feel the spark you had in the beginning of the relationship when you're not investing the same amount of time and energy anymore? It takes effort, but it's worth it."