I grew up in small town Ohio and while the majority of my childhood was perfectly idyllic, I dealt with something I think most women reading this know all too well: mean girls.
I had a good high school experience overall but was not exempt from being the target of mean girl behavior. I went from a small private elementary school to a larger pubic high school when I started 9th grade so I was an easy target. I was initially made fun of for being “too nice.” (Is that a thing?) Girls said I was only nice because I wanted to be crowned homecoming queen at the end of high school.
In another instance, I had come home from NYC where I had seen so many cute, trendy girls wearing fiddler hats. I loved being “fashion forward” (as much as I could for being a high schooler in small town Ohio in the early 2000’s) and wore said hat to my school’s basketball game. A group of girls a year older pointed and audibly laughed (read: cackled) at me. Everyone stared. I played it off like Elle Woods in the bunny costume, but inside I was devastated. Now I can think back and remember the instant I realized it wasn’t me or my hat they were laughing at, it was their own insecurity.
I’ve been lucky to be surrounded by supportive, non-judgmental women for over a decade now, so it never occurred to me that this mean girl toxicity lived beyond the cap and gown of our high school auditoriums.
I was wrong. The big crescendo does not stop there. For what? Why do mean girls need to tear others down to build themselves up? This was made all too apparent a few years ago when I relocated to the east coast and overheard two model-esque women at the gym openly discussing a nearby woman’s appearance. It made me sick to my stomach; the same feeling I felt when those girls laughed at me in a high school gym.
I, too, have been the target of harsh words and know how horrible it feels. And truthfully, years ago, at my worst times, I’ve also been the gossiper. I think as women we can all admit that we've been on both sides of this story.
There is something to glean from this situation and it’s that if we do not personally put a stop to bad behavior, mean girls turn into mean women. The gym bully body shamers, status climbers, moms who feel the need to criticize how other women raise their children and the mysterious social media veil that seemingly makes it OK to make nasty comments on the internet. It has got to stop.
In the name of New Year’s resolutions, I’m hoping that more women will give up insecure tendencies and just be kind. There’s no need to compete against each other because there is room for all of us to thrive and be successful. Sure, everyone has days where our fuses are short but I’m hoping that this new year brings renewed patience and extra emphasis on thinking before we speak.
Hello, Westport! You may recognize me as a familiar face from the Westport Lifestyle team or my own blog, Bliss & Bellinis. I’ll be serving up some pearls of inspiration, and sharing some of my favorite things and thoughts with you every month.
@bliss_and_bellinis