Happy New Year and welcome back to Ask Leslie! Hope you all survived the holidays and handled any issues with grace (or found a good hiding spot, or a well-stocked bar, or both!). This time of year can be stressful (and, let’s face it, kind of annoying). Even so, it’s still my favorite. I love the festive energy and all the celebrations, and if you know me, you know I always RSVP 'attending' to a good party. I anticipate some pretty great post-holiday questions rolling in soon, and I can’t wait!
This month, we’re diving into everything from blanking on names to navigating social media oversharing, midlife friend-making, and tipping etiquette. As someone who swears by good skin care (sort of obsessed, honestly), I’m right there with you. So grab a cup of tea, coffee, or a cocktail (or a jade roller!) and let’s get into it!
I work mostly remote, but at a recent in-person meeting, someone I’d clearly met before recognized me and started chatting like we knew each other well. I completely blanked on who she was! I just smiled, said “nice to see you,” and pretended I remembered. It was awkward. Should I have kept going with it, or admitted I couldn’t place her?
Dear Blank-Spot,
Relax. You did exactly what most of us would do: smiled, nodded, and rode the polite wave. Most people forget names and faces more often than they admit, and the person who recognized you probably didn’t give it a second thought. You kept things light and social, and that’s a total win!
If it’s still bugging you, here are three comeback options:
The low-key detective: Ask a colleague who was there, “Who was the woman in the pink blazer at Wednesday’s meeting? I totally blanked.” Quick, discreet, no drama.
The LinkedIn stalker: Scroll through your company’s page and search by ‘people’ and ‘location’. It’s not really stalking (ok, maybe a little), it’s networking with purpose. Plus, you might find some new valuable connections!
The honest one-liner: If you bump into her again, and you still don’t know the mystery gal’s name, just own it: “I’m so sorry, I rarely do in person meetings - remind me of your name?” People appreciate honesty.
— Leslie
Is there a right answer on oversharing on social media or should it be more of a “to each her/his own”?
Dear Post-and-Pray,
To share or overshare - that really is the question. The truth is, there aren’t any hard rules for social media. Maybe that’s why some people post all.the.time. But here’s my take: quality beats quantity every.single.time.
Share content that feels authentic to you and relevant to your audience. If it doesn’t connect to your brand (personal or professional) or what your followers come to you for, it’s probably better left in your Photos app.
And remember, what’s fascinating to you isn’t always fascinating to everyone else. Do we all need to see baby Jack’s second birthday party cake or a selfie from the ER bed? Probably not. (Close friends and family already got that text anyway.)
Bottom line: post with intention. If you pause and think, “Would I want to see this if it weren’t mine?” you’re already ahead of the overshare curve.
Here are a few Instagram handles I find have the right balance:
@Natty_Style
@Danakoebbedesign
@Lemonstripes
@Sarahaines
@backwardinheels
— Leslie
These days, what’s the best way for a midlife woman like me to make a new friend? Since my son graduated high school and went off to college, I feel like I’ve lost connection with my peer group. It’s surprisingly hard to put myself out there. I never thought I was shy, but it feels awkward trying to meet new people when it seems like everyone already has their circle of friends. Any simple ideas?
Dear Friend-in-Need,
I feel for you. So many adult friendships grow out of our kids’ connections, and when they move on, it can leave us feeling disconnected. But here’s something to think about: why did you lose touch with your circle? Chances are, they’re feeling the same shift you are. If you genuinely liked them, rekindle it! Start a group text, suggest coffee, dinner, or a weekend walk. You’d be surprised how quickly things may fall back into place.
If you’re ready to meet new people, join a local women’s social or networking group, a book club, exercise class, or volunteer event. Human connection (beyond our families) is vital to our well-being. Be open, be curious, and say hello - that’s where friendship begins. I’ll be thinking of you!
Here are a few online sources to start your friendship search and find local events:
Meetup / meetup.com
EventBrite / eventbrite.com
I visit an esthetician who owns her own business. It’s just her and her daughter, who is also an esthetician. The same service costs about $75 less with the daughter, and I always tip her. But I usually book with the owner, and I’m never sure what the etiquette is. Are you expected to tip the owner?
Dear Tip-Toer,
As someone who believes with all my being in the power of self-care, I get why you want to get the etiquette right.
In small, owner-run studios, tipping the owner is totally acceptable unless she’s made it clear she doesn’t take gratuities. Their prices usually reflect experience, not a built-in “owner premium.”
The price difference between mother and daughter is just that: a difference in rate, not a hint about tipping expectations.
And bravo to you for supporting a small, local business!
Here are some locally owned studios I enjoy:
MeTime Skin Care - Anita the owner is a facial magician. Go for the Triple Glow Facial. It literally left my skin glowing for three weeks! Warning: you will get a ton of compliments.
Salt Cave of Darien - fun fact, I took my two daughters here during the cold months of Covid and brought beach toys for them to play with in the salt! Total Mom win.
Noelle Spa - my go-to for some luxurious alone time. Beautiful lounge area (with snacks!). Looking for some post holiday detox? Go for the Lymphatic Drainage Massage. I walked out of there totally refreshed (+ a few lbs lighter)!
— Leslie