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Beyond Mere Appearance

Strategies for Embodying the Gentleman Ideal

This month we celebrate the gentleman. My position is that being a gentleman goes beyond mere appearances and social etiquette. It reflects a deeper commitment to values that guide one's actions and interactions with others and the self. It is transcending the indulgences of boyhood and developing discernment and self-control. I’d like to discuss some strategies for becoming that man. 

Our physical health is vital to the way we function in the world. To truly be healthy and happy, we need good posture, a strong body, and the ability to move well in our world. We need the trillions of processes that run every minute in our cells and tissues to operate without our attention. We need to turn the food we eat into human tissue. 

When these processes are compromised, we end up with pain, a lack of function, and eventually lowered self-esteem and confidence. Always reacting to pain and physical problems is a poor strategy for maintaining our masculine presence. Alternatively, preventing degeneration and deterioration saves us time and money in the long run and leads to a better quality of life for ourselves and for those who love us. With our bodies feeling well, we can show up as our authentic selves. We can achieve this by eating real food, exercising, staying hydrated, getting plenty of sleep, and through spinal care and massage therapy. 

Our mental and emotional health are vital to expressing the essence of a gentleman. My personal strategies for daily mental/emotional/spiritual care involve meditation, reading, expressing gratitude, spending quality time with my son, and checking in with my men’s group. In our culture, it is often difficult for men to be vulnerable, especially with other men. Intentional time and space for working with other men on issues of the heart and spirit can be life changing. Support from men who are certainly going through many of the same challenges can provide a much-needed boost during hard times. This is also the case for sharing wins and having a group of guys to celebrate your successes.  

At my practice, our team focuses not just on anatomy and physiology, but on the whole self and the community in which the self lives. We are each unique and a part of our communities and families. I would encourage every man to value all aspects of health, and that includes plugging in to a community that shares your values and genuinely finds joy in your wins. That’s the community we want to build in our practice, our neighborhoods, and our city.