I’m fascinated by our brains—how and why we make decisions. Whether we want to admit it or not, there is a tug-of-war in our minds between innate desire and rational thought. We all fancy ourselves rational beings, too evolved to make irrational decisions. But the truth is that we all do it. As a wise friend of mine says, “We cannot deny our biology.”
Have you ever experienced that little jolt of excitement when clicking “add to cart?” I’m familiar with that feeling. Personally, I love to give gifts. But in my naivety, I thought the entire excitement I got from purchasing a gift was rooted in my generosity. What a lovely thought, right? Silly me. The reality is that, at least in part, the excitement I experience is connected to the tiny shot of dopamine my brain gets when I anticipate or make such a purchase.
Dopamine is the feel-good chemical that fuels motivation, pleasure and reward. By design, our brains originally needed this chemical to support our survival—finding food sources or shelter, identifying mates, etc. ALL of our brains want dopamine. They’re designed this way. But in our current stimulus-filled world, our brains get a hit of it and then immediately say, “What’s next?”
Here’s the tricky part: dopamine isn’t really about having the thing we want (or buying it for someone else). It’s about wanting to do it.
In his book, “The Art of Spending Money,” Morgan Housel discusses this idea. He says, “Your brain doesn’t want stuff. It doesn’t even want new stuff. It wants to engage in the process and anticipation of getting new stuff.”
Dopamine drives the pursuit of rewards, not the enjoyment of them. Contentment, on the other hand, comes from chemicals like serotonin and oxytocin, which are tied to connection, gratitude and a sense of calm satisfaction. In other words, the thrill of the chase feels powerful, but it’s fleeting. Long-term happiness tends to come from slower, steadier sources.
When you realize how your brain is wired, you can pause before a purchase and ask, “Do I actually want to do this, or am I just chasing that little rush?” Sometimes, even taking a day before buying can reveal the truth. The initial excitement fades, and suddenly the purchase doesn’t feel so essential.
I think this is especially important to consider around the holidays, when purchases increase. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t buy gifts or treat ourselves occasionally. But it does mean we should work to be more aware of why we’re doing it. Our fast-paced world seems to be the antithesis of hitting pause or resting. So let’s remember that a walk outside, a chat with a friend, enjoying a hobby—these activities still give us dopamine, but in a healthier, more sustainable way that doesn’t break the bank.
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