Can I ask you a question? As a woman, why do we allow insecurities to dictate how we feel about ourselves AND how we allow others to feel about us? Go ahead, read that sentence more than once! First of all, I want to make a bold statement. We all have insecurities. It mainly lies within how we perceive our body, our relationships and our career. Nothing good comes from being insecure. Nothing. Insecurities promotes poor self confidence, highlights jealousy and can lead to misunderstandings. I would like to share how to let go of your insecurities and live your best life!
"Mirror, Mirror on the Wall"
You look at yourself in the mirror. You start to wonder if your waist is too wide. Breasts are too small. Arms are too flabby. Thighs are too thick. The list can go on and on. As each year goes by, our body starts to change. Instead of dreaming of drinking from the fountain of youth, always find a part of your body that you are proud of! It may be your flawless skin. Your thick, black hair. The sparkle in your eyes when you smile. Acknowledge your favorite part your body. Respect it. Showcase it. At the same time, write down the areas of your body that you feel need attention. Be determined to find ways to address all of your insecurities with your body one at a time. There are several individuals with expertise that can provide you guidance: physicians, personal trainers, nutritionists, stylists, clinical therapists. As you experience progress or begin to like what you see in the mirror, you begin to build your confidence. You begin to look at your body differently. There is something very powerful about a woman who enters a room with her head held high, eyes pointed forward and a smile on her face. She is ready to face the world!
"He's Just Not Into Me"
Men. Where do I start with this topic? Let me put it this way: Men are black and white, and women see in color. What does that mean? You spend over an hour getting ready for date night in a cute outfit, fresh-washed hair and flawless makeup. You turn to him and wait for a reaction. Nothing. He brushes past you and gets his car keys. You sit in the car and wait for him to make a comment. Something like, "Honey, you look HOT!" or "Honey, you look GORGEOUS! I am a lucky man!" Instead, he talks about how stressful his day was or he is starving or he hopes there is parking. Let me ask you this: WHY are you waiting for him to give you a compliment? Don't get me wrong; I know how it feels when your man gives you a compliment and how good it makes you feel. Having said that, men aren't wired to sense when we are longing for a compliment, which may make or break our day. You may not get that compliment 100% of the time. It is important for you to express to your significant other that you appreciate compliments from time to time. If you don't tell him, it may not cross his mind. I am going to out on a limb and ask: How often do you take a selfie? You should try it. You may be surprised what you see—AND you may want to share it with him. Imagine the smile on his face when you send your selfie to him! It always has to begin with you. You need to transform your mind. Earn compliments from yourself. Compliments from anyone else is the icing on the cake!
"Super Woman"
As a life coach, I find it surprising how many women find excuses for not enhancing their career. It is not because they don't have the desire or the resources; it's the lack of confidence. It's the feeling that you may not be ready to ask for the promotion or the increase in salary. Or better yet—you are not sure how to ask for opportunities that you deserve. Breaking your professional insecurities means understanding your value. Build a career and not just collect a paycheck. In order for you to build your career, you need to invest in your own personal development. I also want to make a very important note: Do not feel guilty for wanting to build your career as you maintain your role as Super Woman at home. Invest in your own personal development by finding a mentor, read self-help books, listen to podcasts, and attend conferences and webinars relevant to your career. When you see women climbing the corporate ladder, they have found ways to stand out and have gone the extra mile to show their value. When I was in college, I worked as an intern in a hospital. I would volunteer to help with my team member's job responsibilities. I was determined to learn as many roles as possible so that I would be considered for a full-time position when I had graduated. As I took on more responsibilities, my confidence grew. Not only was I offered a position once I graduated, I was also able to confidently negotiate a higher salary. This was not easy, to say the least. However, it set the ground for my career growth. If you look carefully, you may find your Super Woman cape tucked carefully underneath your cute outfit. YOU got your back. So, go ahead and spread your cape for the world to see!
It is never too late to work on your insecurities!