This winter was a long one for me for various reasons, but one of the things that I noticed increased, as my energy was a bit decreased, was time online. Don’t get me wrong, I love curling up to watch a movie or spending a little window of time catching up on what friends are up to in their online lives, but this was different. What I started to notice was the bizarre funnel that we all enter when we plunge into apps that are specifically designed to keep us there, riveted and ultimately buying whatever it is the algorithm is pushing.
In an effort to dig out of this hole, I took some time away from the apps and dedicated that time to reading about it instead. In his controversial book, The Anxious Generation, Jonathan Haidt outlines how early kids are starting to have online lives and how much time they will go on to spend on their phones. The numbers are staggering. Haidt says that the average U.S. teenager spends about nine hours per day on screens, including five hours on social media.
He suggests this huge amount of screen time, especially among teens, is impacting their mental health and overall development. Many people feel hamstrung once their kids get to be teenagers, as “everyone is doing it,” but Haidt argues otherwise. He outlines four main proposals in this book: for children not to have access to smartphones or iPads before the age of 14, not to have access to social media before the age of 16, for all schools to be phone-free, and for children to be given more independence to play in the real world. None of these suggestions seems terribly far-fetched, but it is getting harder and harder for parents to navigate as they are so ubiquitous, and most children by the time they are 2-3 years old will have access to, or even their own dedicated iPad.
It is hard to keep kids away when all their friends are doing it, so in order to encourage kids to spend more time outside, playing, and being with each other, parents have to make a concerted effort and model the behaviors themselves. I understand as a parent how hard this can be, but I do think that we can all benefit from screen-free time. As we approach summer vacation, it seems like a good time to explore a digital detox. Here are some ways to set up for success:
Set clear boundaries:
Decide on the duration of your detox and what activities will be tech-free. It’s good to start small, so you can do it. One night a week, when nobody in the house uses their phone, for example, maybe a Sunday Funday.
Communicate your intentions:
Inform friends, family, and colleagues about your digital detox plan to manage expectations. This sounds like overkill, but it helps!
Disable notifications:
Turn off non-essential notifications to reduce distractions and interruptions.
Create tech-free zones:
Designate certain areas of your home as tech-free or tech-free hours. Put them all in a basket so nobody can cheat.
Keep your phone out of sight or in another room during mealtimes or social gatherings:
Even if you just try it for a week, it’s a great family experiment and will likely lead to more awareness about our time and how we want to spend it.