Recently, my four-year-old told me “Mom, my hips hurt!” I replied that she was probably growing and that growing can be uncomfortable. “Ugh, but why does God let growing hurt?” she asked. I smiled, and, while I could not tackle that question in the moment (and won’t venture to do so here), our conversation came back to me all day.
I thought about the past 12 months for my family, which included the death of my dad, a new baby, a hospital stay, postpartum trials, growing kids, growing businesses, happy holidays, and sleepless nights. I reflected on all the intangible things that transpired alongside the circumstances—grieving, forgiveness, joy, solitude, tension, and deep contentment. I considered the journey my body carried me through as I learned and adjusted to taking care of it in new ways. I also celebrated my 30-year birthday of knowing Christ and, through that lens of deep-seated faith, I was able to recount the ebb and flow of this year and feel immensely grateful. These are the experiences that have the ability to truly grow us, refine our character, develop perseverance, deepen our spirituality, make us wiser, and soften our souls.
As I’ve broadened the scope of my health education, I’m convinced that the connections between mental health and physical health are profound. Data shows that activities like meditation and dispositional gratitude can not only boost one’s perceived physical health, but actually lower blood pressure and improve other markers of the body’s stress response. A review of eight studies shows that the simple activity of keeping a gratitude list significantly decreased the participants’ perceived stress, loneliness, anxiety, and depression. We also know from psychosocial studies that those who are most generous are among the happiest. But to be truly generous, we need to first feel grateful.
Thankfully, gratitude can be cultivated. One strategy is shifting our spending habits from material consumption to experiential consumption. Studies show that we are more likely to spontaneously feel grateful for an experience than for material goods. And when we take part in experiential consumption, we are also more likely to act generously toward others. Other ideas for cultivating gratefulness include shifting our view of ourselves from consumer to producer/giver or keeping a gratitude list. At the end of our daily or weekly gratitude list, we can ask ourselves, “What did I give today?” People tend to be more grateful for what they’ve done than for what they possess.
In a literature review of gratitude in healthcare, sociologist Arthur Frank says that “the foremost task of responding to medical illness and disability is to increase the generosity with which we offer medical skill.” And in all of our work—be it career mom, lawyer, accountant, homebuilder, pastor, teacher, or small business owner—this “foremost task” of responding with increasing generosity easily crosses over. In the end, more gratefulness will empower each and every one of us.
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