Emily Pennington, an accomplished writer, had a plan to visit all 63 U.S. national parks in one year and pen a book about it. Everything was set—she had saved enough money, devised a rock-solid plan, packed up Gizmo—her little van—with supplies and set off. But she never imagined how her carefully thought-out trip would be disrupted by unexpected calamities, both physical and emotional.
Published in February by Little A, an imprint of Amazon, Feral: Losing Myself and Finding My Way in America’s National Parks, allows readers to travel with her, feeling the joy, heartbreak and trepidation along the way.
“I originally thought this book was going to be about being brave, doing big things and forming an unconventional life and relationship for myself,” she says. “I also believed it was going to be about how following your own rules is more important than following those laid out for you by parents or society. It ended up being much more of an examination of how uncertainty and the void are the rule, not the exception.”
In addition to hurricanes and wildfires, one major obstacle was something no one could have foreseen. Shortly after setting off on her cross-country trip in January 2020, the pandemic hit. Even then, she was determined to persevere and stick to her plan.
“My mom is an immigrant,” says Emily. “She came to the United States from Sweden by herself when she was around 20 years old. When you're raised by a single-parent mother who not only travels the world solo, but also does other really brave things, it almost feels like there’s a silent expectation that you should also venture forth and see what miraculous projects you can pull off.”
While she had to alter her plan many times, she met her original goal, even though it would have been so easy to quit. She fell terribly ill a few times, broke up with a man whom she thought would become her husband, was plagued with anxiety attacks and depression, came down with COVID and was frightened for her life more than once.
“One of the reasons I mention my plan in the book so often is that I had this rigid task master in my head who really wanted to crack the whip and get the project done,” she says. “But what's ironic is the end of the book is all about unraveling and ego obliteration. So even though, yes, that plan is a driving force throughout the narrative of the book, I would say that the moral of the book is almost the opposite.
“It’s very much about listening to your body and your heart and taking things at the pace that feels thematically appropriate rather than forcing a narrative onto your life. I also learned that pushing pause to practice self-care is really important, even if you're in the middle of wanting to get a million huge things done.”
Emily found writing the book, which she did in 6 months, cathartic.
“It felt like being in very intensive therapy every single day for 6 straight months,” she says.
Of course, interwoven with her personal journey are beautiful descriptions of the national parks. It may inspire many to put on their hiking boots and get out and explore them as well, albeit at a slower pace.
Her advice to others: “Today is the youngest that you're ever going to be, and if you have giant dreams, then there’s no better time than the present to start making a plan toward fulfilling those wildest desires. Feral is proof that if I can do it—a petite solo female with diagnosed anxiety—than anyone can.”
Today, Emily and her rescue dog, Marla, are getting ready to relocate from Los Angeles to Boulder, Colorado. She’s also in therapy, going on hikes, doing yoga and focusing on better self-care.
“I’m doubling down on all of the things that I need to do to make sure that I'm showing up in the world in the way that I want to,” she says.
Read more about Emily and Feral at BrazenBackPacker.com.