Balancing child-rearing and careers often presents ongoing challenges for working parents. One local, family law attorney navigates that maze daily--as a mother of two, partner at St. Louis-based Page Law, and family advocate who diligently counsels people through life's major changes.
Tonya Page says everyone knows about 'Mom Guilt.'
"I definitely have it, especially when I’m extra busy or working late. If I have a big trial, I schedule time off after it for a family vacation or just spending time together. My firm is close to my kids’ school intentionally, so I take them to school most days and attend their special events," she says.
Tonya practices exclusively in Missouri family law and domestic relations. She handles every aspect of family law matters, including adoptions, pre- and post-nuptial agreements, annulments, protection orders, divorces, modifications, enforcement and contempt, mediation, child custody, child support, paternity actions and grandparents’ rights.
To keep heart-rending elements she deals with professionally from impacting her own moods, emotions or family life, Tonya says she exercises to clear her mind. "Family law is a highly emotional area, so it can be difficult to 'shut off' because I'm constantly thinking about clients and cases, especially custody matters or abuse cases. This aspect is always a work-in-progress. When it's taking a toll on me emotionally, I implement new ways to deal with the stress," she explains.
"One of my 2021 resolutions was to take more self-care time. I just finished the book Finding Gratitude, which was full of simple ideas and reminders for inspiring joy and appreciation. I liked it so much I bought multiple copies to give to friends and family," she adds.
She confirms the COVID-19 pandemic affected family law aspects, such as delaying pending cases and creating court backlogs. "There've been some positive changes, including transitioning conferences and motion hearings from in-person to phone conferences or Zoom. Although I still prefer in-person for actual trials and mediation, using video conferencing has saved time and is cost-effective," she says.
She says many people contemplating divorce at initial stages of the pandemic were afraid of unknowns. "There was an increase in calls, but a decrease in new cases from April to July. In August and September, there was a surge of new clients who were ready to proceed. Job loss, uncertainty, working from home and home-schooling children added stress for many families, especially those who were already in crisis or contemplating divorce before the pandemic."
Unfortunately, she says there was an increase during the pandemic in child/spouse abuse, as well as substance abuse. She says she provides referrals for counselors or other medical professionals, as well as filing Orders of Protection. St. Louis County, and some surrounding counties, changed procedures to allow victims of abuse to electronically file petitions for protection, which helped streamline the process.
Outside the courtroom, Tonya enjoys volunteering as a Big Brothers Big Sisters of Eastern Missouri mentor. She presents lectures on family law and has served as a Missouri High School Mock Trial Competition judge. She was named a Super Lawyer and on the list of Best Lawyers multiple years in a row.
"The only other career I ever contemplated was being a country singer," she reveals. "Although I still like country music and all music, my skills are karaoke-worthy at best, so it’s definitely a good thing I pursued law instead."
Her hobbies include boating, watersports, wake surfing, traveling to warmer locations during winters, and going to concerts.
To observe Mother's Day, Tonya usually hosts a brunch at her house. "One of my favorite Mother’s Day memories was when my mom, grandma, sister and I stayed at a hotel for a girls’ spa weekend," she recalls.
Tonya says she hopes everyone can take time to show mothers in their lives how much they're appreciated. "Husbands/fathers, definitely do something special for your wives, or mothers of your children, or they might be calling me," she quips.
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