Each weekend at Life.Church, men and women walk up to a wall that describes a variety of small groups, called LifeGroups, where people can open up about life and faith, overcome addiction, share a hobby, and make lasting friends.
At Life.Church Northwest Oklahoma City, James Callahan is often found standing nearby, ready to help anyone find a group where they can belong because he knows firsthand just how life-changing a community can be.
Eight years ago, James had just been married to his third wife, Danielle, when they began attending Life.Church. He remembers going to church off and on for two years before deciding to become a regular and choosing to open up to others.
“Those first few years coming out of my second divorce were very isolating. I knew my way wasn’t working, but I didn’t know exactly what Jesus’ way looked like,” James shared.
“The more I talked to other men in the church, the more I realized their stories mimicked mine. I started to see other men who thought they weren’t good enough, who thought they were going to mess it all up. I really identified with what I was hearing those other men say. One of them invited me to a men's breakfast.”
The men’s breakfast at Life.Church Northwest Oklahoma City is one of 186 men’s LifeGroups across the 10 Life.Church locations in the Oklahoma City metro. Each Life.Church location also offers LifeGroups for women, couples, young adults, singles, people with shared interests, and Neighbor groups that serve in the community.
“I got to that first breakfast a little late, so when I walked in, men were already talking in groups. I remember wishing I had what they had,” James recalled.
“I was so hard on myself. I thought, ‘You don't belong here. Everyone's going to figure you out. You’re going to mess it up.’ But I still wanted to be a part of it.”
James decided to go back to the next breakfast. He got there early and offered to help. He passed out name tags and welcomed other men.
“The fact that I felt just as worthy as anyone else to be there is a picture of how much God can work within someone in a short period of time,” he said.
One of the men who invited James to his first men’s breakfast was David Dunn. He experienced his own doubts about building new relationships.
“I never knew how much I needed community until I was in a LifeGroup,” David said. “The biggest hurdle for men today is to be able to share about their own weaknesses and wounds with others, but it’s worth it.”
In the ensuing years, David invited James to more breakfasts, to men’s retreats, and to mentor teens in Life.Church’s youth ministry, Switch. Today, they’re friends who get a kick out of finding ways to help other men build strong friendships.
Instead of giving up, the Callahans found a place where they belonged. Their marriage is stronger, and in the past two years, they’ve both joined Life.Church’s staff. James now serves as an associate LifeGroups/LifeMissions pastor alongside his mentor, Robert Davis. Together, they’re helping people make friends and find the kind of freedom James has found.
“Friends debunk the lie that you’re alone—that you’re the only one who feels or acts the way you do,” says Davis. “Friends help us believe in God and believe in ourselves.”
Learn more at life.church.
“The fact that I felt just as worthy as anyone else to be there is a picture of how much God can work within someone in a short period of time."
