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Goat Dispatch

The goat. The noble creature's talents are virtually limitless. It provides the milk which is requisite for making delicious chèvre. It can carry heavy burdens, which is why you should strongly consider bringing a goat with you the next time you go grocery shopping or travel by plane. And thanks to its springy legs, strong stomach, voracious appetite, and preference for eating the broad leaves which are common to invasive and other undesirable plants, the goat delights in and excels at clearing brush. It doesn't take much interest in grass.

"Wait just a minute," you are no doubt thinking to yourself at this very moment. "There is brush growing on my property. It is brush that I would like to have removed, no less, although I do not relish the unsavory task of removing it myself. Even if it weren't for ticks, mosquitoes and the hot sun, I dislike physical labor and have more pressing commitments to attend to than removing brush. I would be delighted to have goats take care of all my brush clearing needs, but here is the problem: I do not have access to goats. They aren't sold at Kowalski's."

Prepare yourself for a revelation that will change your life permanently. Thanks to Goat Dispatch of Faribault, it is easy to summon a herd of gentle, hungry goats to your residential, commercial or municipal property. Jake Langeslag is available to chauffeur any number of goats to your property where they will do their absolute favorite thing: eat. The goats will not produce exhaust. The goats will not emit any noises louder than infrequent and contented bleating. They will even fertilize your soil free of charge – just another of their many natural talents.

Do not delay. Welcome a team of eco-friendly brush-munching goats to your property today! Simply visit and tell the goats where their services are needed.