How do you change your life?
The answer, according to Jennifer Walkup, the author of 365 Days of Positive Living and 3 Minutes a Day Journal for Wellness and Gratitude, lies with altering your mindset.
Walkup, a positive psychology practitioner, lives life to the fullest by seeking the silver lining and wrapping it around her like a shawl.
This simple practice has gotten her through the ups and downs of life, and it has helped her and her husband, Paul, an accountant, raise their consciousness and their sons (Owen is 17 and Jeremy is 15).
We asked her to tell us her secrets for getting 2024 off to a good start.
We’re at the beginning of another new year, a time when people make—and more often than not break—resolutions. We fail and walk away; how do you put a positive spin on that?
Each day is a new beginning. It sounds trite, but we all set goals and fail. Failing is not a bad thing—it’s sign that you are trying something new. Every day is a new day; don’t be afraid to fail.
That’s really inspiring. How do you maintain such a positive attitude 365 days a year?
I’ve always had a positive attitude and looked at life on the bright side. It’s my personality. But things really came into focus when I faced challenges, so I made a conscious effort to continue the practice.
Is that what led you to write your books?
There was no specific incident that inspired them, but I had been thinking about writing 365 Days for a while and then when the pandemic hit, and everyone in the world was in the same boat, it seemed like a great time to write it. I wanted to put all the things I was practicing—quotes and advice and my spin on things—together so I could help people.
It sounds like you’re saying that when it comes to positivity, practice makes perfect.
Yes, it becomes a habit; it helps you focus on the good and become better equipped when there are challenges. It’s about looking at your day and finding those little bits of gratitude because we take all the good things for granted. When you write down something good about each day, it makes you notice and be grateful for it. Once you change your viewpoint on life, you can move through it. It is not always easy, but it is worth the effort to try to learn.
Great idea, but what happens when you’re having a really terrible day?
You can’t force positivity, but you can at least look for the silver lining in many situations. It can’t always happen, and that’s OK. It’s OK to not be OK. I’m not saying that you should ignore your feelings; it’s OK to feel how you feel. You’ll get through it. All our feelings are valid—good or bad—and the more we accept that, the easier it is to handle challenges when they arise.
That’s awfully hard to do sometimes.
Yes, being positive is easy when things are great. When they’re not, you have to put time and effort into it. That’s where 365 Days and Gratitude Journal come in. They make you focus on positivity. You can either fold and wallow or use the strategies of positive thinking to help lighten the load. There are days and situations when it is really hard and when you truly might not be able to find any silver lining. That’s where, for me, the regular practice of gratitude comes into play. When I am focused on a consistent gratitude mindset, it helps keep me going through the really difficult times when gratitude might be harder to find. I’ve done this with my kids, and I see it coming through in their personalities.
Just how do you do that: Find the positivity when you’re absolutely positive there’s nothing good?
The best advice I can give is to pull something good out of every day. Today is just today. It’s one day. People sometimes get all caught up in the big-picture stuff and don’t stop and look at the little things that can change your life. I still get caught up in the big things and when I do, I step back and reassess when I’m overwhelmed. Then I move slowly forward. That’s what I’m always trying to teach. It has always worked for me.
Jennifer Walkup provides creative writing group or individual classes for children and adults in the Somerset Hills area. Visit her at JenniferWalkup.com.
All our feelings are valid—good or bad—and the more we accept that, the easier it is to handle challenges when they arise.
The best advice I can give is to pull something good out of every day. People sometimes get all caught up in the big-picture stuff and don’t stop and look at the little things that can change your life.