Being a father without having a father is a challenge many men face. I am more surprised when talking with another dad who can recall being raised by a father figure with fond memories. Too often today, men have been raised without a dad and by a woman in their life. I do not believe that a woman cannot raise a boy to be a man; I feel that not having that male role model gives many men today a challenge as they become fathers.
I spent most of my childhood without a father figure in my life. I was raised by a mom, aunt, and grandmother until the time I moved out at 16 when I was becoming a dad. Yes, you read that right; I was a 16-year-old dad. I joined the Marine Corps at 17 when I graduated High School. I needed to learn to be a man to be a better husband and dad.
My goal is not to make the article about me but to share what many men today struggle with, "How do I be a good father to my children when I don't know what that looks like?" It's an internal struggle that most men won't share eternally, and it's how we are wired. It may be why many men run from the responsibility or how other men embrace the challenge with a determination to do better and be an example to their children they did not have in their own lives.
I do find many resources to help on my road. The best I have come across is a book by John Eldredge called "Wild at Heart." There is a quote in the book that says, "Every boy, in his journey to become a man, takes an arrow in the center of his heart, in the place of his strength. Because the wound is rarely discussed and even more rarely healed, every man carries a wound. And the wound is nearly always given by his father."
If you are a dad present in your children's lives, then great job, way to be there. We need more like you in the lives of families across this nation. If you read this and think I can do better, then there is no time like the present.
If these words describe your father in any way or conjure thoughts of the silent battles he may have fought, then let him know this Father's Day what he has done for you. With all this being said, "Happy Fathers Day," my fellow dads.
