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Featured Article

Kids Say the Funniest Things

Grand Valley Edition

Article by Grand Junction Lifestyle Staff

Photography by Grand Junction Lifestyle Staff

Originally published in Grand Junction Lifestyle

Kids. We love them. They make life worth living. They certainly keep us entertained. Here are some of the fun things we have caught kids saying. They are sure to make you smile and chuckle. If you have any kid quips to share, let us know!

Child: I know how they make bacon! First, you go hunting for a pig...
Parent: No, most pigs are raised on farms.
Child: .... Bacon is a plant??

Child: Grandma, my shadow is dead!
It was a cloudy day.

As the vegetables were being sprayed in the produce department: 
Child: Look the vegetables are taking a shower!

Child: Mom, can I please eat more hedgehogs?
Hedgehogs are what she calls sausages.

Having just driven over a manhole cover on the road:
Child: Mom, the road just burped.

Child: Mom, can we have another baby?
Mom: Why do you want another baby?
Child: I want a redo. This one cries too much. 

Child: Mom, do you know what the H-Word is?
Mom (tentatively): … Happy?
Child: Yeah! Do you know what the D-word is?
Mom: Dog?
Child (clapping hands): Good job, Mom! Do you know what the F-word is?
Mom (feeling more at ease): Frog?
Child: No Mom, it’s Fun. Why don't we ever have enough?!

Child: Can we get a dog?
Parent: No, I am allergic. That means I can't be in the same place as a dog.
Child: You could leave. 

Child: Mom, what is a humanitarian?
Other Child: Oh! I know! It is like a vegetarian, but it eats humans!

Parent: Do you want the baby to be a boy or a girl?
Child: I want the baby to be Batman!

10 yr old Child: I can't believe I am into the double digits. I am old!

Child: Most inventors are smart. But not the one who invented homework. They are the worst of all inventors!

Parent: How many wheels are on a tricycle?
Child: I don't know! I don't know Spanish!

Child: Hi Mom. You're on speakerphone with my fish!

Child: I love Twinkies. They are filled with cream and hope and dreams!

Child: Wouldn't that be funny if a clown was a donkey? That doesn't make sense, so that is funny, right?

Child: Can we put glow sticks in the bath?
Parent: Why would we do that?
Child: So I can see the bottom when I take a bath.

Child: I don't want to be an astronaut when I grow up. Space worms could get in my nose and that would be gross.

Parent: We can get one tub of ice cream.
Child: One BATH TUB of ice cream?!