I have tried Kowalski’s Akaushi wagyu rib roast. It tastes as though a nearly impossibly chance sequence of cosmic events cast a little stone marble into some otherwise unremarkable pocket of universe, upon which light and molecular juju gradually softened raw firmament into lush grassland, and later into cattle, and later still into a civilization which produces beef so good that it causes one to reflect on how fortunate they are to occupy a very specific place and point in time.
And that’s only one example of Kowalski’s finest. The Twin Cities’ woman-owned, family-run grocery has assembled the loveliest selection of holiday meats you ever will see.
Whole organic turkeys weighing upwards of twenty pounds. Minnesota-grown Berkshire hams which put any Yorkshire’s best work to shame. Prime rib delivered to the pinnacle of tenderness by twenty-eight days of in-house dry aging. Shrimp, lobster, crab, salmon, crab stuffed inside of salmon, and plush scallops ensconced within pink and white streamers of porcine perfection.
“We have gone all out with center-of-plate items this year,” said Mary Anne Kowalski, owner. “The holiday requisites are all here, including oven-ready turkeys and spiral-cut hams that look like they were plucked straight from a Rockwell painting. There are delectably prepared legs of lamb that we have all but roasted for you, and Island Creek oysters fresh off the plane from Massachusetts. We have also gathered an assortment of prime, choice, and Akaushi beef roasts – all natural, and humanely raised on ranches we have inspected personally.”
“Meat is special,” said Kris Kowalski Christiansen, CEO and Mary Anne’s daughter. “It doesn’t give imperfections anywhere to hide, which is why we do everything to source the highest-quality cuts as we’re able. Fresh. Free range. Free of antibiotics. Free of cruelty. Locally sourced. Raised or caught from the wild with minimal impact on the environment. And, of course, delicious. These are the stars which guide us on our quest to provide meats worthy of you and your loved ones during this most special time of the year.”
“Not just meats,” added Mary Anne. “Pièces de résistance.”
Do you enjoy demonstrating affection toward your loved ones by cooking superlative eats, but not necessarily preparing them? Let Kowalski’s kitchen elves take the reins on this year’s menu. They prepare fifteen-pound all-natural free-range turkeys, marinated in herb and sweet onion and spatchcocked for easy-peasy roasting; six-pound slabs of prime New York strip, wet-aged for the length of the Great Deluge and masterfully massaged into their seasonings; Minnesota-grown racks of Duroc pork which glitter like gold upon the caramelization of their apricot glaze!
Please excuse me. I have to go lie down.
“We are very proud of our culinary team’s creativity,” said Kris. “Whether they work in our meat, bakery, or deli department, they’re always coming up with better recipes than I could have ever imagined. And whenever we recognize a local vendor whose best efforts surpass our own, we’re only too eager to recruit them. For example, we acknowledge that Knoke's Chocolates and Nuts of Hudson, Wisconsin makes profoundly better peanut brittle than we can, and admit defeat by offering it at all of our stores.”
“But as any mother would tell you, mom’s recipes are always best,” said Mary Anne. “That’s why we have incorporated several of our family’s beloved recipes into Kowalski’s offerings, including my mother’s own fudge. We make it just like she used to, with one exception: we do not stick great big bowls of it outside to cool in the snow. The eternal temptation of my childhood!”
“My father Jim’s side of the family is also well represented by his mother’s famous chip dip,” said Kris. “It’s a blend of cream cheese, mayonnaise, Worcestershire and onion: seemingly simple, yet actually devilishly hard to proportion correctly. There have been many attempts to recreate it, but they all wind up coming out slightly different. At this rate, it’s looking increasingly likely that Grandma Betty will forever sit at the base of a phylogenic tree of dips. (The sauce, that is; not me and my cousins.)”
“Would you like the long story, short?” posed Mary Anne, rhetorically. “If it has our name on it, then it had better be good!”
Visit Kowalskis.com or stop into their Southdale location to order Edina’s best tasties to your doorstep.
“If it has our name on it, then it had better be good!”
“Not just meats. Pièces de résistance.”