Kay McConaughey, or as her son Matthew and daughter-in-law Camila McConaughey affectionately call her, MaMac, is a firecracker. She turned 93 in January, is razor sharp, crackles with energy and leaves those in her presence cracking up with her quick wit and steadfastness on what she likes, and what she doesn’t. After being in the audience at a Women of Today event late last year where Camila interviewed Kay and left us drenched in inspiration, we wanted to share Kay’s wisdom. Following a photo shoot at The Colton House where she did pilates moves many half her age aspire to do, we sat down for a chat in the library and talked about everything from love to longevity.
You and Jim McConaughey had quite the love story, beginning with you proposing to him? Jim McConaughey couldn't make up his mind whether he wanted to get married or not. I met him in college and we were pretty tight, but he couldn't seem to make up his mind. I knew he loved me, but if we didn't get married, I could go back to New York and model. So, I sent him an invitation to his wedding and I said if you can make it, fine, but if you don't show up at the altar, then it's over and I’m going to New York. But, he did show up. It wasn’t that he didn’t love me, he simply could not make up his mind. And I don’t think he wanted to get married at the time, but I wanted to get married!
You got married and divorced three times. Yes, all to Jim. Not many people can say that. I had three traditional real weddings, once in the Presbyterian church, once in the Catholic church and once in the Methodist church.
And you and Jim had a son, adopted a second son, and then Matthew was a surprise? Oh my, was he ever! Oh my god yes, he was. In fact, he was such a surprise my friend took me up to the hospital to have Matthew and Jim McConaughey said, ‘Well, I don't know if that's my son,’ and I said, ‘Then don't come up and see if he's your son.’ But he did, he decided to come up and see the baby, and I said, ‘What do you think?’ and he came around. I mean, who else’s baby would it have been?
Jim passed in 1992, and around 2000, you fell in love again. Yes, with C.J., my soulmate. He was such a kind, thoughtful person and we were together for 17 years until he died of leukemia.
But you never married? No, and I never wanted to. I was just so happy to have two men in my life that I really, really loved.
That’s really lucky. Yes, aren’t I?
What do you think keeps you so vibrant at 93? I think a lot a lot has to do with my positive attitude. I really have a positive attitude, and I eat well. I eat clean. I exercise. I do pilates for one hour, four days a week, and that keeps me fit. But, the biggest thing for me is I don't stress. Like, if you and I were really good friends and, and you were talking to me and you had a situation, I would listen to you and I would give you advice and if you didn't take it, then that's it, I wouldn't stress over it. I don't have to fix everything, and for me, that's a very positive. Women think they always have to fix everything, and I don't think that way. I will help you, but I'm not going to stress over fixing everything, So, my main things are I eat clean, I exercise and I don’t stress.
What happens if you find yourself in a stressful situation? I don't let myself get it them, trust me, I don't. If I see that's where I'm headed, I back off. I'm not going to let people do that to me.
Did you stress when you were younger? No, I never really had any reason to. I was really popular and I had a zest for life and stress is not a word I can apply to me, ever.
What’s the best advice that someone has given you?
My father was very healthy and he taught my sister and I that you are what you eat, and you are what you think, and I’ve tried to live by those two things, really and truly, because if you think you're dumb, guess what? You're probably dumb. If you think you're smart, then you're probably smart. So, I have always thought I am what I think, and that's why I think positive.
You have a sign in your house that says ‘Yes?’ Yes, I have a big sign that says ‘Yes’ on my bar and then underneath it is a sign that says, ‘Life Is Good.’ Always say yes.
Richard Branson gave me that advice, he always says yes and his book is called Screw It, Just Do It. Yes, but I’m older than him and I came up with it first.
But you always say yes? Yes, I always say yes. But, I slipped a maybe in back there, didn't I?
There is always a ‘but,’ but there are two words that I try not to use because they don't work, they’re ‘never’ and ‘always.’ When someone tells you, ‘Oh, I never do that,’ I'll bet you ten to one that they do. Or, ‘I always do that.’ Think about it, do you always do that? So those are two words that I don't like to use in my vocabulary, and I probably don't, because they're not true.
How many years were you a teacher?
Off and on for 20 years. I lived in Uvalde for 10 years and I was a kindergarten teacher, and then we moved to Longview, Texas and continued to teach. Then I substituted in junior high. I just loved to teach. I’m very didactic.
You’ve really seen Austin grow. Yes, I moved here from Longview. I really wanted to move to a bigger city, but when I saw all the traffic that blew my mind because I don’t like to drive in traffic, but my biggest surprise was how big Austin has gotten.
Do you still drive? No. I was asked to turn the keys over. My boys got together and said I was making poor choices. And I was. I've heard of 90-year-old women driving, but I don't know about that, and I’d never had the chance because they asked me for the keys. I was hitting cars on the side, going too close. I'm not a good driver, not at all, but I don't like to drive.
Then it’s a good thing, now people can drive you. Yes, isn't that nice? Matthew and Camilla loan me their driver Marcel.
And Marcel calls you the Queen of Texas Yes, he does. He's the one that started that, and there’s only one queen of Texas honey, and that’s me! Can’t take that one away (singing) you can’t take that away from me…
You wrote your book I Amaze Myself at 76 years old. What inspired you to write a book? Well, I would ride my bike, a lot. And when I would ride my bike, I would think of things and thought, ‘Kay, you need to write that down!’ So, I would get home, get off my bike and start writing things down on a yellow pad. Those things that I would write down are the things that are in my book, ideas that I have thought of when I wasn't really trying to think of anything. They're just motivational suggestions. It’s a fun, motivational book that is supposed to be lively, inspirational and get you going.
What's amazed you about yourself lately? That I'm very resilient. That’s always amazed me and it still amazes me.
What’s bringing you joy lately? What brings me the most joy is my grandchildren, I have six of them, and whenever I'm around any one of them my heart is full of joy. They keep me young, and that’s where I get my joy from now.
What are you most looking forward to this year? Another good year of good health, because I plan on living until 98. I just picked that number. I think that's a nice number because if you get too old and you can't get around and your mind isn’t good, then what's the point?
Seems like you're in pretty good shape right now. Yes, but I work at it. I read a lot, I keep up with things, you have to work at it at my age.
What are other things that you do to work on it? I keep up with current events on my ipad. I want to know what’s happening in the world. I’m curious, very curious about life, still.
What’s something you’ve seen in 93 years that surprised you? Like I was driving next to a car with no driver yesterday, and that surprised me. Oh gosh! No kidding? That would surprise the heck out of me. Well, I’m being kind of flipped now, but by the time you get my age, not a lot surprises you.
What do you eat for breakfast? I love my breakfast. I have yogurt, usually mango or peach and then I have lots of different fruits, bananas, kiwis, mangos, a very healthy breakfast. I’m healthy, we never have any sweets in our house, ever.
But you do have a glass of wine every day. Yes, I do. I have a glass at 5 o’clock and then I have a glass when I go to bed.
What kind of wine? Kendall Jackson, that's my favorite, I don’t drink any other kind. If I came to your house and you didn't have Kendall Jackson and you had a nice chardonnay, I would drink it. I wouldn't be obnoxious and say it’s not Kendall Jackson, I’m not drinking it, but if I can get Kendall Jackson, that's what I prefer.
What’s your favorite food I love Camila’s cole slaw. And salmon. I only eat fish and chicken, I don’t eat red meat. When I go to Matthew and Camila’s house I do because they like red meat and I would never refuse it, but it's not something that I would choose.
Do you cook? No. I only cook stew. It’s fun, you just put everything in a pot, meat, carrots, potatoes, some mushrooms and a cup of red wine and stir it and put it in the oven at 350 degrees for one hour and it comes out a wonderful stew.
What is your favorite restaurant in Austin? Eddie V’s
What’s your favorite one of Matthew's movies? “Dallas Buyer’s Club.” He did a really great job, really and truly. That made me cry.
What’s your favorite book? Would have to be anything by Michael Connelly. I love anything he writes.
What’s a favorite mantra? Turn the page.
Is there anything else you want people to know about you?
That I'm a happy, happy, happy person. That's what I want people to take away after they're around me, that I don't talk negative, I just simply do not, so I am a happy person.
I’ve had situations in my life, that I wrote about in my book, with my real mother and my stepmother, that did not make me happy. But, I learned to be anything other than those two people. That's advice that I’ve given myself and consequently I've chosen to be happy, in spite of the way that I was treated by those two women. You have a choice, and I will never let you take my choices away. We always have a choice.
And, I know I’m not going to live forever, but I can't imagine dying. Some people think about it, but I don't. I’m mature, but I’m not old. I do love life, I do, I do, I do.