In my experience, traveling with children isn’t relaxing. If you have very young children now and cling to the hope that it will be so much better in five years when you don’t have to remember sippy cups, packets of squeezable applesauce, and extra clothes to tote around…you are lying to yourself. Those items get replaced with trendy water bottles, a giant tumbleweed of charging cords, and extra clothes to tote around. I’ve been carrying a ‘just in case’ sweatshirt for other people for 20 years.
Once upon a time, in what felt like a Netflix depiction of a military operation, I was attempting to move eight people through blistering heat at Disney World. I was pushing a double stroller 20,000 steps, checking Fast Passes, slathering sunblock on unwilling humans, and eating a life-giving $15 Dole Whip when my husband (who dislikes heat, crowds, and chaos) asked, “How do you know for sure you are at Disney with kids?”
And I said, “Someone is always crying?”
Yes. That is the answer. Every fifteen minutes, we saw a child sobbing. But also every fifteen minutes, we saw a sweaty parent balancing a light saber, mouse ears, two stuffed animals, a beloved heirloom baby blanket, a diaper bag, and their sanity like a circus act. Meanwhile, they were quiet-yelling through clenched teeth at a crying child to CALM DOWN and HAVE FUN wearing a Happiest Place on Earth tank top. And that is why I consider all of these adventures ‘trips’ and not vacations.
The term vacation indicates respite. Tranquility. Paring down from all of the doings and things of daily life. And this is how traveling with friends is an entirely different story than a trip with kids. Nobody cries unless they are laughing, and there is plenty of that. And the mental burden of remembering everything for everyone else is eliminated. Because each person is only responsible for remembering about 25% of the things. My friends are so prepared. For anything. For everything. There is no outcome they have not considered. I find it relaxing that it isn’t all up to me.
I once jumped in a lake in northern Minnesota on a weekend trip with my shoes on. To be fun. I thought the shoes were waterproof. They weren’t. They were some type of hiking shoes that doubled as ugly sponges. My friend ended up loaning me some running shoes, and I wore those for the rest of the weekend. She had an extra pair in my size AND in a cute color.
For my birthday a few years ago, eight of us went to Savannah, Georgia. During hurricane season. Did I research every hotel, restaurant, and tourist attraction before we went? Yes. Was I aware that hurricane season lasts six months there? No. Let’s say we experienced everything the city had to offer with the exception of sunshine. And yet, nobody complained. Nobody even flinched. We marched on, and my friends pulled out their layers, and we traversed the city like drowned rats. One person secured tickets to an indoor tour while another grabbed two tables in an Irish Pub while another found a store that sold umbrellas. We bought eight umbrellas.
We have photos from the trip taken in historic Forsyth Park. When I show people, they say, “It almost looks like you had the whole park to yourselves!” We did. Because not everyone is willing to walk around that park in torrential rain like eight women from Minnesota who just roll. with. it.
A couple of us went to a weekend music festival once. We camped. People around us ate trail mix and freeze-dried food. We had a charcuterie board and hand-crafted buttermilk biscuits. Because YOLO.
Venturing out anywhere as a group, we boast multiple pairs of sunglasses, hand sanitizer, pens, extra books, wet wipes, scarves, cash, apps to find anything on earth, blankets, and a bevy of beverages that range from still spring water to caffeine-surging coffees to prebiotic/probiotic offerings in exotic flavors. It’s leisurely to move through life with these ladies.
Recently, we have been in discussions about what local field trips we could take. Educational. Artsy. Fitness related. Pastry themed. A spreadsheet was sent to drill down on interest and new ideas. Yes. A spreadsheet. Because these women prepare. On the thread is a high school English teacher, a social worker, a psychologist, a physical therapist, a nurse, an elementary school teacher, a physician’s assistant, and a marketing guru. Aside from planning an outing, we could likely open up our own social service agency.
This spring, grab a friend and head out on a field trip if you can’t go on a full-fledged vacation. Leave everyone else behind. If you go with three friends, you don’t even have to pack your own things. Someone else has already thought of what you’ll need. And should you ever find yourself stranded in the woods, look for a group of women. They have directions. And they have a wedge of artisanal cheese with a gluten-free cracker for sustenance until you find your way back.
Jen Fortner is a freelance writer who enjoys asking friends and strangers far too many questions. She spends her spare time sitting in inclement weather watching youth sports, traveling, cooking, and searching for the very best baked goods. She lives in the Southwest Metro with her husband, three children and the most spoiled dog.
