When it comes to your health, what does love have to do with it? The answer is it has everything to do with it.
When we think of love, we often think about love as it relates to relationships, whether it is romantic love, love within a family, between friends, or with pets. Studies show experiencing loving relationships improves cardiovascular health, boosts immune function, speeds healing time, and has even been shown to lengthen our life expectancy. If love results in the warm embrace of a hug, the hormone oxytocin (nicknamed the “love hormone”) is released, which is attributed to developing bonding and trust within relationships.
However, the definition of love can be defined much more broadly than love within relationships. Love can be defined as one of two primary emotions, the second primary emotion being fear. It has been said all emotions stem from one of those two emotions. For example, gratitude, joy, and happiness are extensions of love, while anger, jealousy, and anxiety are extensions of fear.
You can feel the effects of emotions in your body in real time as you conjure the idea of the emotion. As an exercise, close your eyes and think of one of the emotions listed under love and pay attention to your body’s response. Notice your heart rate, your breath and other sensations in your body. Then, perform the same exercise thinking of one of the fear-based emotions. Notice where in your body you feel various sensations. For example, we often feel physiological changes in the chest, stomach, and head. You may notice that the location of where you feel the sensations is where you tend to develop chronic symptoms like heart palpitations, stomach aches, or headaches, respectively.
Once you realize your emotions have a direct tie to your physical health, it is exciting to realize you hold the power to improve your health picture and alleviate many symptoms on your own by simply choosing love. You literally have the beautiful power to feel great, mentally, emotionally and physically because you can choose to live within love.
If simply choosing love seems almost too good to be possible or you think it seems too self-serving to choose love, it may help to have a roadmap to understanding the difference between being selfless, selfish, and self-loving. Psychologist and life coach, Dr. Paula King, distinguishes the three in the following manner:
Selfish- a person thinks and acts as if they matter, and others do not.
Selfless- a person thinks and acts like others matter and they do not.
Self-loving- means a person thinks and acts like both self and others matter. This person seeks to know and understand themselves and seeks the same with others. This person negotiates differences with others and works to collaborate on solutions to problems.
Being self-loving can be explored more deeply when we seek to “understand ourselves” by living within the purview of what brings us joy within our personal value systems. The beauty of being human is what brings one joy not what brings others joy. When we choose to be intentional about finding and living in joy, we are choosing to be self-loving. Since love breeds health, we get to enjoy being healthy and we can contribute to the health of our world.
"Self-loving: a person thinks and acts like both self and others matter."