The new school year is just around the corner. This time of year can be particularly challenging for families, especially if your child is struggling with going back to school.
While feelings of anxiousness and nervousness are common in kids beginning a new school year—new teacher, new classroom, new faces and a more challenging curriculum—there are a few things you can do to help calm your child’s trepidation and set them up for a successful year.
The first order of business is a healthy sleep schedule. Getting quality sleep is essential to maintaining your child’s mental and emotional functioning throughout the school day, so be sure they are going to bed at a reasonable hour each night, and waking at the same time each day, including weekends.
Blue Boat Counseling Clinical Director Kate Pedro recommends looking at school schedules while creating your daily routine and making adjustments prior to the start of school.
“I would say at least a month in advance, start closing that gap…and then really getting
into a regular routine at least one to two weeks before the school year starts,” Kate says. “You are going to see the most balance in mood regulation when there is an appropriate amount of sleep being given to kids.”
Another potential stressor is thinking about new teachers or harder classes that may make your child feel scared or uncertain. One of the most important things parents can do here is talk about expectations.
“Kids want to know what to expect,” Kate says. “We could drive to the physical space if it’s a new school [or] build a plan for who they can sit with [on the bus]. Kids just want to feel prepared.”
Another helpful tidbit: If you’re unable to give your child answers to questions immediately, be transparent about when you will have that information.
One easy way to give your child some control and autonomy is by letting them pick out
their clothing or school supplies.
“If kids are able to pick out their color folders or what pencils they would like to use, that makes them feel like they have control of decision-making when, in a sense, they don’t have a lot of control,” Kate says.
Children may initially experience a “honeymoon period” during the first day or two of school, and then may appear to “unravel” at home. Kate stresses this is normal behavior for children who are simply decompressing in their safe space after masking at school.
“I don’t want parents to be fearful if they see that,” Kate says. “That’s a healthy regulating tactic that [both] kids and adults do.”
Kate recommends avoiding minimizing your child’s concerns by helping them build skills to manage feelings of stress and anxiety.
“I think we also need to normalize for our kids that a lot of this anxiety isn’t going to go
away, and that’s okay,” Kate says. “We just need to learn how to cope with that feeling
versus trying to eliminate that feeling.”
Parents can help their children manage feelings of anxiousness by building self-assurance through role-playing scenarios beforehand, and by giving their children self-regulating tools such as taking deep breaths, using fidgets, taking breaks or getting a drink of water when they experience anxiety at school.