I once read an article about snow golf. Do you know what I learned? I learned I do not want to play snow golf.
No. I want to play golf as it was intended to be played during the winter: in the lap of luxury.
Visualize this. You’re a golf ball (and a mighty fine one at that). You’re being teed up at your house. THWACK. Good swing! It sends you ten miles – straight down 494 to Bloomington – and lands you in a glade by the bank of Ninemile Creek. Hole in one. Nice. You’re at Office Golf: the largest golf simulator establishment in the country.
Fore
Office Golf’s thirty thousand square feet house eighteen state-of-the-art Trackman iO golf simulators, which combine radar, infrared, and high-speed imaging to calculate real-time club and ball analytics. Translated? If you miss the green, it’s your own fault (but you can still blame the Trackman).
St. Andrews. Pebble Beach. Valderrama. These are just three of the four hundred seventy four world-class courses a Trackman faithfully simulates. You’ll feel the warm Pacific sun on your back as you soar down the fairways of Ke’olu. The view of Mount Fuji from Kawana might just inspire you to write a haiku. You’ll practically taste the delicious croques that await at the nineteenth hole of the Kempferhof.
Cruise through eighteen holes solo in just under an hour. Play as a party of four in just as many hours. Post up at the simulated driving range for a whole day. Reserve multiple bays for the mother of all indoor outings. Even guests who don’t know a seven iron from a three wood can enjoy playing darts, pool, corn hole and ping-pong.
And it only gets better, because Office Golf also serves:
Food
At this point you’re probably asking yourself: “What is croque?”
It doesn’t matter, because Office Golf doesn’t have it. Instead they offer something a hundred times better: a wide selection of upscale pub-inspired delectables prepared by The Boardroom, Office Golf’s on-site restaurant.
“We have perfected our menu ever since our grand opening three years ago,” says Katie Rose, co-owner. “At this point, I can confidently say we exclusively serve crowd favorites. It’s little wonder why so many people are visiting Office Golf for The Boardroom alone!”
I want the potstickers. I want the sliders. I want the burrito. I want the stir fry. I want the truffle tots. I want the Hole in One pizza with pepperoni, jalapeño and hot honey. I want the bacon. My wife wants the quinoa and chopped kale bowl with shrimp. I want the bacon. I want the fried chicken sandwich with special new OG sauce. I want the warm chocolate chip cookies.
I want a drink.
Drink
What’s golf without booze? I have no idea. I haven’t experienced it. That’s why I cherish each of Office Golf’s three bars, which serve every color of wine, every incarnation of beer (including the exclusive OG Amber Lager), and liquor both cocktailed and pure.
Now, for me, it’s gotta be the Fairway Fizz made with gin, grapefruit juice and elderflower liqueur. For a certain quinoa enjoyer who will remain anonymous, the star of the bar is the OG Gimlet made with vodka, rosemary and lime. And you? Well, you might just be a prime candidate for The Rattle – a feisty hat dance of tequila and orange liqueur with a ker-pow of muddled jalapeño.
Party
“Office Golf is the perfect destination for parties of all sizes,” says Katie. “Want to host a small company get-together? We have just the space to make as few as ten guests feel like they’re the only ones here. Want to host a birthday, wedding, anniversary or retirement bonanza for as many as four hundred? Office Golf’s dedicated event specialists will make sure the entire thing goes off without a hitch!”
Every game day is a party at Office Golf, where there are only slightly fewer TVs than there are air molecules.
Heart
“Too many businesses like ours are owned by massive corporations,” Katie continues. “Office Golf is the anomaly – solely locally owned by myself and my husband Ernie.
“I love being here because it reminds me so much of my father, John Richard Harris. He was one of Minnesota’s most renowned golfers, who taught me to appreciate the game when he wasn’t playing on the PGA Tour and Champions Tour.
“My dad was one of golf’s greatest advocates. He believed everyone should play, and did his part to introduce countless newcomers to the game throughout his lifetime. I like to think Office Golf keeps that legacy alive by offering the most convenient access to golf in the Twin Cities. Stop by and see us sometime!”
Go to 7807 Creekridge Circle in Bloomington. Visit OfficeGolf.com. Call (952) 324-5236. Just whatever you do, don’t not play golf close to home this winter!