Statistics show almost half of all marriages end in divorce. A difficult situation to be sure, divorce doesn’t have to ruin your life. In fact, a “good” divorce can lay the foundation for a brighter future.
When it comes to divorce, “There is no right or wrong, good or bad, best or worse—each situation is unique, so each agreement should be unique,” says mediator Peter B. Wiere, of Wiere Mediation. With 25 years of experience as a family and business mediator, Wiere specializes in helping couples resolve divorce-related issues in a cost-effective, non-adversarial manner.
“Divorce is really about three things: (1) who gets what [division of property], (2) a parenting plan and (3) a spousal and child support plan,” says Wiere. “Arriving at a mutually acceptable agreement to these issues in a non-adversarial way, without complicating the issues either emotionally or financially, allows people to move on with the rest of their lives in as sound and economic way as possible and with the least amount of negative impact on the children.”
For couples with young children, working with a mediator to arrive at mutually beneficial agreements about their divorce shifts the focus to the big picture and delivers long-term benefits.
“Since they are able to do this, as mom, dad and extended family cross paths during the raising of their children, at school, graduations, marriages and with grandchildren, it happens in a more normalized way, which turns out to be more important than who got what and the specific details of the parenting and support plan,” says Wiere, speaking from firsthand experience.
“When my first wife and I divorced after about 25 years, we did it together, mostly by using a self-help book,” says Wiere. When a few friends asked him to help them with their divorces, Wiere drew from his own experience, coupled with his skills and knowledge gained from 25+ years as a business financial planner, and kicked off his career in mediation.
Some 25 years later, Wiere enjoys helping families move through their divorces with greater ease.
“Regardless of how complex and/or simple a situation may seem, there can be confounding particulars [financial, emotional, addictions, behavioral, etc.], and it never ceases to amaze me how folks who so often start in what would seem like untenable situations, so often can move off their ‘high horse’ and come to a mutual agreement,” says Wiere.
With an emphasis on providing excellent financial advice regarding division of property as well as determining an adequate support plan acceptable and doable for both and a viable child custody plan in a non-adversarial environment, Wiere notes the importance of working with a “non-judgmental” mediator.
“This is important because the divorce process is both emotional and financial, but also very blaming,” explains Wiere. “Thus, a good mediator is not there to decide who is right or wrong, or who is most to blame, but to use all the information to help them come to an effective and mutually beneficial agreement, so they can move on with the rest of their lives.”
Peter Wiere Mediation is located at 3138 Heavenly Ridge Street, in Thousand Oaks. Contact them at 805.523.8898 or learn more at WiereMediation.com.
