As another year rolls around our minds will inevitably dig into that old archive of things we have meaning to do, things we could do better. I am all for self-efficacy, but I have come to question this tradition as it so often focuses on fixing what is wrong instead of celebrating all that is right. In the introduction to her wonderful book, Start Where You Are, Pema Chodron says, “We already have everything we need. There is no need for self-improvement. All these trips that we lay on ourselves—the heavy-duty fearing that we’re bad and hoping that we are good, the identities that we so dearly cling to, the rage, the jealousy, and the addictions of all kinds—never touch our basic wealth. They are like clouds that temporarily block the sun. But all the time our warmth and brilliance are right here. This is who we really are. We are one blink of an eye away from being fully awake.”
For 2025 I recommend embracing Kärt Besvär. This Swedish phrase blends kärt, meaning “dear or cherished,” and besvär, which means “pain." While this might sound like going in the opposite direction of what we want, in some ways, it diffuses the whole New Year’s madness and asks us to be present with the daily tasks of our lives and, in so doing, infuse the quotidian with meaning. Bills, dentist appointments, packing school lunch, and jury duty aren’t going anywhere this year, so instead of feeling like we have to change things to be our best selves, how about knowing we are bringing our best selves to our life, as it is, mess and all?
A few Kärt Besvär-inspired non-resolution resolutions:
Shift all paper bills to paperless. Save trees, have access to all your payments in one place, and receive notifications if those kinds of things slip your mind.
Volunteer! Giving our time and energy makes us happier and more connected to our communities. If you need a place to start: BoulderColorado.gov/Volunteer
Re-read an old favorite. If Anna Karenina is gathering dust by your bedside, give up! Go back to something you loved as a kid or young adult and revisit it. It’s a low-pressure way to time travel and visit your former self.
Take an awe walk. Dacher Keltner (DacherKeltner.com), a professor of psychology at the University of California, Berkeley and the director of the Greater Good Science Center explains that finding awe and wonder on a walk (or anywhere else) can be as simple as pausing and noticing the world around us—from something as seemingly small as a flower bud to something as big as a mountain sunset stretched across the entire sky. Other sources of awe include what he refers to as “moral beauty”: witnessing the kindness or goodness or generosity of other people—or listening to music, seeing art, and contemplating big ideas, all of which can happen during an “awe walk.”
Keltner said that they found “three really cool things” when comparing the results of the control group to the “awe walk” group.
“Over the eight weeks of the study, the ‘awe walk’ group started to feel more and more awe. So, as we search for awe, we find more of it, which I think is really important. These people—75 years old or older—over time felt less pain and distress. Chronic pain and pain when you’re old is serious. It just rattles your consciousness, and here was a little technique that gave them some peace.”
Here's to more peace this year.