There’s a lot of pressure around the meaning of the shared bed, but this is largely a socially constructed belief system.
Countless couples have asked, “Is it bad if we sleep in separate rooms?” The answer is not a definitive “yes” or “no.” Snoring, tossing/turning, and conflicting sleep schedules can lead to chronic sleep deprivation. This affects everything from mood to long-term health.
Enter sleep divorce, a growing trend where couples sleep separately to improve their rest.
When should sleep divorce be considered?
We all know sleep is important. According to the National Sleep Foundation, adults need about 7-8 hours of quality sleep each night. People who are chronically sleep deprived have an increased risk of health concerns.
Lack of sleep also wreaks havoc on relationships. A 2022 study found that sleep-deprived couples had higher levels of the stress hormone, cortisol, and were more likely to engage in conflict.
According to Dr. Chris Hammond, Neurologist at Ogden Clinic, “Many couples don’t realize how much poor sleep contributes to irritability, miscommunication, and resentment.”
If your partner’s sleep habits are keeping you up at night, you’re not just losing rest—you may also be losing patience and connection.
What is Sleep Divorce?
Many couples have turned to sleep divorce as a practical solution. In fact, an estimated one in six couples have chosen this method. According to Sleeping Separately: The Surprising Science of the Separate Bed by Neil Stanley, PhD. Some even swear by it, including celebrities like Bette Midler and Carson Daly, who have openly discussed their separate sleeping arrangements.
What are the benefits of sleeping separately?
- Better sleep quality: No more snoring, kicking, or waking up to an alarm that isn’t yours.
- Improved mood and energy: Well-rested individuals are happier, more patient, and better equipped to handle daily stress.
- Health benefits: Adequate sleep reduces the risk of heart disease, obesity, stress, and diabetes.
- Less resentment: Annoyances over stolen blankets or midnight disturbances are eliminated.
Dr. Hammond explains, “For some couples, sleep divorce can be the difference between thriving together and constant tension. Quality sleep is a non-negotiable part of health, and if separate sleeping arrangements provide that, it’s worth considering. Sleeping apart doesn’t mean a relationship is failing. It just means both partners are prioritizing their health and well-being.”
The key takeaway?
Sleeping apart doesn’t mean you’re growing apart. In fact, it might just be the key to unlocking a healthier, happier relationship.