Matt Rosen will tell you his service to the U.S. Army was nothing to do with shortbread cookies. Personally, I don’t believe him. I theorize that Matt was actually a member of the black ops baking unit known (unofficially) as “Scrumdiddlyumptious Squad,” which fought 11th-dimensional warfare through the power of supreme treats. How else could it be that a seemingly normal guy can whip up such delectable shortbreads?
I say let Matt maintain his ruse. Let’s just be grateful he’s on our side.
You no doubt recall the entire plot of Rambo: First Blood Part II. Believe it or not, the situation you’re currently in is just like it. You are Agent Cô Phượng Bào – but instead of fighting for Vietnamese freedom, you want to give gifts that people will actually enjoy and remember. Matt, of course, is John Rambo, but instead of explosive arrows and an M134 Minigun, he helps out with his commercial-grade kitchen and genuine love for his craft.
I’m pretty sure I remember everything going well for Agent Cô. And it will for you too, regardless of whether you decide to give boxes of splendid shortbreads as gifts to your clients, employees, family members, or local magazine publishers. SergeantShortbread.com