According to the greeting card industry, all men fall into these seven categories:
- Master grillers,
- Lawncare enthusiasts,
- Sports fans who never take off their baseball cap, even in the shower,
- Woodworkers who deftly transform a redwood into a sawdust-filled room using only a hand plane,
- Fishermen, optimally sharing a boat/river with their dad/grandfather as they learn/impart deep life lessons,
- Flannel-laden campers who stare wistfully into the medium distance with a steaming cup of coffee at daybreak,
- Beer drinking fart machines.
However, there’s one subsection that’s missing: those who do marginally dangerous things.
That’s where a place like Stumpy’s Hatchet House comes in.
Stumpy’s is an incredibly macho place based in Fairfield where you can go and throw axes at targets. It’s sort of like playing darts (also a greeting card staple) with large, handle-based implements of death. But until you’ve tried it, it’s hard to imagine just how great of a guy’s activity this really is.
However, it’s great even if you’re not a guy. Girls can weaponize as well as anybody here. In fact, according to location owner Michael Metzger, they host more bachelorette parties than bachelor parties there.
Consider Stumpy’s as a place that’s more social than a training center. It gives people a place to bond, to celebrate together, and do a cool activity while they’re out. It’s not just about throwing axes. (They also have non-hatchet throwing things to do there, like Giant Jenga, Giant Connect 4,Cornhole,Whip and Skip, and a Brunswick Shuffleboard Table to round-out the man-cave experience.)
Think about it: how many restaurants can you go to when you celebrate your birthday? The adult options are limited. Stumpy’s gives you a chance to blow off some steam, enjoy some time together, and get a great backyard feel even when the weather isn’t cooperating. It’s BYOB beer or wine, but they have plenty of ice. Snacks, too. And there are plenty of take-out menus for some great local spots for a quick delivery for something more.
Just don’t look to buy a Father’s Day card here. Stumpy’s has too much of an edge for that.
For an online look at our experience at Stumpy's Hatchet House, go to https://citylifestyle.com/morristown-nj/articles/sports-and-recreation/wayne-lifestyle-kicks-axe-for-ourselves-at-stumpys-hatchet-house