I’m in Bloomington, just off 494, watching deer taking turns sipping from Nine Mile Creek. They look discontent on this dour, drizzly autumn evening. I’m sure it would comfort them to know how cozy The Boardroom is keeping me.
You seldom associate warmth with the phrase “30,000 square foot facility,” yet The Boardroom glows in its own hospitality. It is Office Golf’s full-service restaurant, which serves elevated American fare and restorative beverages in a bright, airy environment. It is a perfect spot for a date, which I am currently on with my beautiful wife, who does not play golf, and who loves it here. She says she loves being anywhere with me, but I know the truth. She specifically loves going to The Boardroom.
Why? Many reasons. The truffle tots, which we firmly believe to be the pinnacle of tot cuisine. The supreme pizza, which is only slightly more supreme than the Hawaiian pizza. The Jack Daniel’s bacon mac n’ cheese, which comprises all four of the loveliest ingredients known to man. The pretzel-crusted salted caramel brownie, which I am determined to find a way to live inside of someday. There are even salads. It’s all a far cry from the sort of food you would normally eat off of green checkerboard paper.
“Mmm-hmm, that's good booze!” Jackie Gleason said it often, and I’m sure he’d have said it here. There are cans, bottles and drafts, the last of which includes Office Golf’s exclusive OG Amber Lager. Divine. There are both primary colors of wine, as well as rosé for the true renegades. There are signature cocktails as well. I’m drinking a Fairway Fizz, which may have negated my ability to appreciate a greyhound unless it has elderflower liqueur in it.
A normal pub has one bar. Office Golf has three. Two are in The Boardroom itself: a large one for raucous gatherings and televised sports, and a tucked-away speakeasy for intimate tête-à-têtes. The third makes the 19th hole perpetually available to indoor golfers.
I tried my hand at one of Office Golf’s 18 Trackman iO golf simulators before (during an earlier, wifeless visit). Within seconds I was transported to first tee at Bethesda Country Club, where I was blown away by how faithfully the machine interpreted my golf skills. I was exactly as bad at virtual golf as I am at the real thing.
I could practically feel the sand in my shoes by the 18th hole, which I somehow managed to reach in just under an hour. (A party of four can play a full round in about as many hours.) Such state-of-the-art yet accessible technology really opens golf’s applications. If you’re accustomed to closing big deals on the green or just palling around with your friends there, Office Golf makes it possible to be yourself all winter long.
Office Golf also makes it easy to host gatherings of all sizes. The Boardroom comfortably accommodates up to 300 guests, and has two adjacent simulator rooms to entertain them. Just let the dedicated event specialist know what the ultimate rehearsal dinner, family reunion, corporate get-together or other private party must include. You’ll find it all waiting for you on your arrival.
The date is now nearing its conclusion. I don’t dread the 10-minute drive back to Eden Prairie, and I expect to return soon. It’s hard to believe my new favorite hangout features a sport I’m so dreadful at, but that’s the beauty of Office Golf. You can ignore its signature attraction entirely and still love it here.
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