In 2018, a group of dads met with a high school principal and asked how they could be more involved with the students after a wave of mental health issues affecting kids. How could they show the kids that they matter and are seen?
That first Father's Club started with more than 50 dads handing out Chick-fil-A sandwiches, fist bumps, high fives, and lots of words of encouragement to the kids as they arrived at school. Since then, the organization has expanded to more than 50 schools in Kansas, Missouri, and Nebraska, including all three Lee's Summit High Schools.
"We try to connect with the kids where they are," says Mike Davisson, The Father's Club Executive Director. "Obviously, if a bunch of high school dads show up without anything, that would seem kind of cringe. But if you have food for them, now all of a sudden, it's kind of cool. Anytime we launch a chapter, we try to do something with food and dads." Davisson joined The Father’s Club in 2019 just before the COVID pandemic.
The Father's Club mission has three components. The first is connecting with kids, both students in schools and those at home. While dads are usually active during their children's elementary school years—helping with sports and activities—their involvement often declines in middle school as their children transition to daytime activities with school coaches. Dads focus more on their careers.
Davisson says, "I've never had a dad tell me they wish they worked more hours. I've had many dads say they regret the time they didn't spend with their kids. On a personal note, I have a college senior who still calls his dad almost every day. I made the conscious decision that career and advancement were less important than my involvement with my family. I want every dad to feel that joy I get when my son calls me."
Another Club component is community, which the dads accomplish through their involvement with the schools. They hand out cinnamon rolls and donuts on the first day of school, and number two pencils on state assessment days, all to ease anxiety and stress. They also do tailgates at sporting events, participate in pep rallies, and help with set designs for theater groups. Occasionally, they'll have dad-versus-dad competitions between clubs at halftime of basketball games, with the winning club's student section getting free pizza.
Perhaps the key Club component is men connecting with men. Most guys identify with their careers and marriages. When difficulties occur in those areas, men tend to keep their struggles to themselves. The organization, as symbolized by the logo of three shields locked together, is a way for men to connect and support one another.
Davisson explains, "We tend to be very superficial in our relationships. So, part of The Father's Club is to lock arms together so that, God forbid, I have a rough day and can't sleep at two o'clock in the morning, I know I can call somebody, and they'll be there for me. We're better husbands and fathers because we have our band of brothers that we can rely on and be transparent and vulnerable with."
Davisson notes, "I think helping men understand that they're here to provide and protect, but your legacy is what ultimately defines you, and it's not your career. I once heard a guy say, 'I realized I was coming home with a pocket full of money to a house full of strangers.' So, the better job we can do of helping men understand that their identity is not their career, but it's family, the better off we are."
To become involved in The Father's Club or start a chapter at your local school, visit their website fathersclub.org.