Art? You want to know about art? OK. I’ll tell you about art.
Hopper’s Nighthawks. Homer’s Snap the Whip. Wyeth’s Christina’s World. I have seen these and many more American magnum opuses, plus plenty of other vastly inferior European “paintings.” And you know what I say about them?
They’re Alright
Now, don’t get me wrong. If you gifted me Pollock’s original Number 1 (Lavender Mist), I’d absolutely hang it up in my office where I would draw heaps of inspiration from it. I’d maybe even begin writing like this: sGg4F70LBHsd.
But at the end of the day, even the most masterful example of mankind’s artistry shrivels in comparison to an original by the Creator. For proof, visit The Mustard Seed Landscaping and Garden Center’s greenhouse at 10,000 Great Plains Boulevard, Chaska and behold a Norfolk Island pine. It doesn’t just look like it could be alive. It is life – and if you traced its roots back far enough, they would guide you all the way to life’s grand, glorious debut on Day Three. Plus it smells nice, and you’re allowed to take it home with you. Try asking if you can do the same with Sargent’s Portrait of Madame X and The Met will firmly ask you to leave.
“Nothing brightens up a room quite so much as beautiful houseplants,” said Kelly Lorenz, general manager of The Mustard Seed. “That’s why we take care to curate such a wide variety of them. It ensures that each customer can add joy and energy to any living space regardless of their budget, lighting, or time constraints.”
There’s no better time to peruse The Mustard Seed’s sultry greenhouse than in December, when an average day contains twelve nonconsecutive minutes of sunlight. You’ll witness Christmas cacti, which toss about flat, almost crustaceous fronds that terminate in bursts of fuschia-white flowers; lipstick plants, which dangle pendulous red blossoms from shelving or ceiling baskets; aptly named goldfish plants, which bear bulging tuberous orange petals that end in little kissy lips; the emerald-green Zanzibar gem, which stays leafy and happy with quarterly waterings; and the snake plant, which similarly won’t throw a hissy fit if it is only watered sporadically. There are even pitcher plants and Venus flytraps, which exhibit behavior typically only observed in postlapsarian Day Five and Six creations.
“And of course we have poinsettias!” said Kelly. “That good old-fashioned green-and-red Christmas standard, which has waned in popularity in recent years due to the rumor that it’s poisonous. Not true! Sure, it might irritate your stomach, but you’d have to eat several salads’ worth before you begin feeling sick.”
I know what you’re thinking: “Go and buy several plants from The Mustard Seed and keep them for myself.” You are extremely correct to think that. But you should also buy them to give as gifts to your loved ones and your not-necessarily-loved-per-se-but-still-very-much-appreciated ones as well.
“Plants are the gift that keeps on giving!” said Kelly. “A plant can last forever if it’s taken care of correctly. And if it’s taken care of poorly, then at least it will have been a lovely gesture.”
It’s Christmas at The Mustard Seed
Visit The Mustard Seed any weekend this December from 10am to 1pm to have your family photographed with Santa! Just bring $5 and your own camera.
Visit The Mustard Seed on December 6th from 10am to 2pm to meet those most Christmassy hoofed mammals of all: llamas, which will be festively dressed and ambivalent about being photographed.
Visit The Mustard Seed on December 13th from 10am to 4pm for the Holiday Forest Fair: a free event featuring nature-themed vendors, demonstrations, children’s activities, food, and refreshments.
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