There’s a little coffee shop on the east side of Mesa, right on Power road. It’s called Black Rifle Coffee. It’s more than your average coffee shop, it’s an embassy for local veterans, first responders, and active service members. The coffee is delicious but it’s the atmosphere that catches your eye, the shop is always filled with these brave men and women and their families. Some are coming in to grab something to go on their break and others are picking tables, gathering together with others. There are the sweet undertones of conversation happening underneath the shouts of orders ready. You can hear laughter between the thuds as cups and items are moved around on counters and sound of back claps and hugs along with the whiz of the espresso machine.
November 11th is the day we celebrate Veteran’s Day. We take a moment to reflect and be thankful for those who have served and are currently serving in our armed forces. We might attend a parade, create a graphic to share on social media (or share one someone else posts), but on November 11th, we make sure to thank our veterans. When we see them out and about, we got out of our way to thank them, maybe even shake their hand.
When thinking about the November issue, when you combine the theme of thankfulness and the fact that Veterans Day is one of the major holidays celebrated, it was serendipitous that I knew exactly where to go for this article.
I learned that there was a group of vets that meet at Black Rifle Coffee on a consistent basis and after being provided the information on the days and times of their meetings, I invited myself to one of their meetings. A few of the members knew I was coming but for most of the group, I was a surprise. (I’ll let them decide if it was pleasant surprise or not.) At first, when I realized that not everybody knew I was coming, I was nervous. Insecurity bubbled up and made me question whether or not they would even want to talk to me, to share, to allow me into their group, a group so tight that even on the days they might not want to go, they still get in their car and drive over to Black Rifle Coffee. This weekly meeting is their routine, a habit, and some would say, a lifeline. And here I was, intruding with minimal warning.
The insecurity was quickly washed away in the open arms of these men and their openness to newcomers. Make no mistake, they are a tight knit group, deeply interwoven in each other’s lives, they are equally open to new people, new conversations, and finding an extra chair to pull up to their table. Even as I talked to individual members, getting into the finer details of things, everybody else would be involved in other conversations. The conversations overlapped and somehow included everybody at the table despite the conversation appearing to only be between the two men sitting across from each other. It felt like joining a family for breakfast instead of an interview, especially as they started asking me two questions about myself to every one of my own questions to them.
I spent three hours at Black Rifle Coffee, talking with these men who welcomed me as if I was family instead of the reporter they insisted I was, despite my corrections that I’m simply a writer and I just like putting stories together. I walked away with more than a story, I walked away with a message to share and a lesson learned. I walked away with a real-life example of a challenge that one of the men gave to me and living out the example has made the challenge take root, and it’s a challenge I’m going to share with you, one I hope you take up as I have.
Let’s change how we say thank you to veterans. Instead of a “Thank you for your service” as we pass by the older gentleman with the Vietnam hat or other military apparel that signifies that they served in the military, we’re going to stop and ask Can you tell me about your service?
Instead of a quick thank you that makes us feel good but is most likely making the veteran feel awkward, let’s spend a few minutes asking them to share their experience, allowing them to share what they feel comfortable sharing at the moment. Instead of spending ten seconds saying thank you, let’s spend five minutes having a conversation.
Veterans lived a completely different life during their service, one that many of us can never wrap our heads around. Our societal rules are nothing compared to their general orders, orders they still probably follow even after their time in service is done.
There are many organizations that support veterans but there is something we can start donating, our time. We can have conversations, we can ask questions. We can show our gratitude by listening to their stories.
Peter
Military Branch: Army
Time in Service: 14 Years
MOS (Job): Chaplin Assistant
Peter is the technical leader of the group, starting at Panera with a question and in invitation. “Vet? Come hang out.” Peter loves being able to pray for one another.
One Thing Everybody Should Know: On the outside, someone may look okay but on the inside, they might need something.
Ron
Military Branch: Army
Time in Service: 2 Years
MOS (Job): Combat Correspondence
Ron shared that Vietnam vets are still suffering, it’s why he wears his Vietnam vet hat, to be an open door for other vets who might need someone who gets it.
One Thing Everybody Should Know: We have a great country. It has its flaws but it is still great.
Herb
Military Branch: Navy
Time in Service: 3 Years
Rate (Job): Ship Serviceman
One Thing Everybody Should Know: Common Sense
PJ
Military Branch: Navy
Time in Service: 14 Years (reserves)
Rate (Job): Ordinance Air Crew
On top of his military service, PJ is also a retired sergeant with the police force, spending time in Hawaii, Colorado Springs and Portland. Retirement looks like being a small business owner, a dad to two kiddos, and wedding planning.