The Joy of Cleansing 2022

Organic Krush's Detox Program

This year, I’m doing a detox with Organic Krush (OK): three days of juice with a small, vegan snack, then three days of vegan “detox” meals.

I cleanse/detox once a year to re-ignite my focus on good nutrition, as my eating habits tend to de-escalate to embarrassing levels. Though I try to maintain a healthy diet, no number of organic chocolate chip cookies will replace a salad.

My goal isn’t to lose weight (any weight loss from juicing promptly packs itself back on within days). Rather, I re-boot to increase my energy and lift my spirits.

And if it makes my skin glow and my hair shiny and thick (Yes? Please?), then, shoot, I’m fine with that.

Day 1:

OK makes three days’ worth of juices on the first morning, to be picked up all at once. 18 bottles. Which is different from any other detoxes I’ve done (typically I have to pick up the day’s bottles each morning), but convenient.

I have my choice of snacks, including: Kale Detox salad, Roasted Vegetable salad, Seasonal Soup (butternut squash/apple), or trail mix (sunflower seeds, gobi berries, and that ilk.) I chose the salads and soup.

Like most detoxes, there’s a schedule for when to drink each juice and eat the snack. Green juices, considered the most nutrient-rich, are consumed in the morning on an empty stomach. This enables all the healthy stuff to be absorbed efficiently, without having to navigate a tummy full of other crazy edibles.

Fun fact: the body uses up to 70% of its energy processing solid food. Eliminating solids allows the body to soak in more nutrients while re-directing the energy to other activities.

Back to the cleanse. You may be the type to savor and sip a green juice, but I like to hammer mine down and let the vitamins and minerals wash over me like a tidal wave. I don’t cleanse to thrill my tastebuds.

Regarding the salad - baby spinach with roasted zucchini and butternut squash -  I munched on that bad boy all day (tiny little bites) to alleviate my cravings for fork-able sustenance. Though I’m “supposed” to eat it around dinner time, I placed my sanity before sacrifice. Turns out, it was a good move because being ever-so-slightly sated helped me to not scream at every living being in my home.

Day 2:

Pretty much the same thing as Day 1. I remained grateful for the snacks (today, Kale Detox salad).

This morning I took my daughter to get a bacon, egg, and cheese on a bagel, a decision I immediately regretted. I chugged a green juice to assuage my feelings of envy and resentment. It did nothing but make me less thirsty.

Of note, the Cashew Mylk drink scheduled for the end of the day provides much-needed healthy fat and 7 grams of protein. Plus it’s super yummy. Throw in some ice and vodka and you’ve got a delicious cocktail! Or not. Because we’re cleansing #@%$.

Day 3:

Now I’m feeling energetic and happy; the magic is happening!

But not without its challenges.

I’ve done enough cleanses to know that hunger pangs are temporary, so grit your teeth and ride them out. To manage the pangs, I spaced out my “snack” of butternut squash/apple soup throughout the day, got busy during my super hungry phases (gym, driving kids), and cheated.

My horrified daughter exclaimed, “YOU CAN’T EAT THAT!” But allow me a defense: three days of juice is hard. I picked up all of my meals today and stacked them neatly in the fridge. Every time I opened the door to grab a juice, there they were, colorful and cheery muses begging me to indulge. I’m human.

So I ate some of the butternut arugula salad. I mean, is that reeeeally cheating? Matter of opinion. Let’s move on.

In the fall, root vegetables are at the crux of every chef’s seasonal dishes. Because butternut squash is autumn’s new pumpkin spice, OK’s cleanse is rife with it. So if you love butternut squash, this is your detox season. Me, I’m not nuts about the squash, but their butternut/apple soup is delicious.

Day 4:

Feeling fabulous.

Today, I swan-dived into the world of vegan detox meals. It includes a morning drink “shot,” breakfast, lunch, dinner, “dessert,” and two juices a day.

I loved eating solid food without feeling like a reprobate. But they’re serious about detoxing, so expect grains, chopped raw vegetables and fall fruits, roasted squash, sweet potato, a few figs, and standard seasoning (salt, pepper, olive oil, lemon).

For me, it’s not easy. But, shoot, like I said, I feel great. I even agreed to go to Costco and bought my kids a case of potato chips. Mom’s spreading the joy (and she’s not crazy about potato chips).

Day 5:

Pretty much the same as Day 4.

Day 6:

So, today is Halloween and, like I said earlier, I’m human. So I chugged my morning shot, ate my breakfast grains, downed my juices and my sweet potato salad, then made myself a cocktail-to-go at 5 and broke my ‘tox at a friends’ pizza truck spooky party.

I know one should ease back into one’s normal diet to avoid unleashing hell on one’s digestive tract, but I didn’t eat much. Nothing tasted as delicious as I wanted it to, which is a common side effect of cleanses.

Candy didn’t tempt me, either, but mostly because companies have cheapened their trick-or-treats to the point of sugared wax, knowing they’ll sell regardless of taste or, like, mouth-feel.

However, I did go to bed fantasizing what I’d have for breakfast the next morning (egg white wrap at The Porch.)

I’ll also feel great when I do, and it’s fun to have accomplished something.

Fun fact: the body uses up to 70% of its energy processing solid food. Eliminating solids allows the body to soak in more nutrients while re-directing the energy to other activities.

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