Oh, Valentine's Day, why do you add stress to my life? Every year, Valentine's Day rolls around with its holiday merchandise filling the front shelves of every store. Facebook and Instagram posts add salt to the wounds of those who receive nothing and create comparisons to others.
My wife would most likely say I'm not very romantic. I could attempt to defend myself with a myriad of excuses, but I've never won her over by defending myself from how she feels. Instead, I find it much more productive to attempt to understand how she feels and where she’s coming from. One of the decisions I am thankful for, from a previous Valentine's Day many years ago, is to show our love for each other every day of the year, not just on one specific day.
That does not mean I do nothing for Valentine's Day or that this commitment somehow lets me off the hook while the rest of the world celebrates. Rather, I strive to do a little bit extra.
For example, my wife loves music. She often expresses herself, her feelings and thoughts through music lyrics. Even though mix tapes have become obsolete with the fall of cassette and CD players, creating music playlists is still something I do. I'm not much of a lyrics person myself; I am more visual. I don't hear the lyrics as much as I think of the images the music conjures in my mind. However, for the past few years, I've spent time listening to music with the intent of finding songs with lyrics that express certain feelings or represent events in our lives.
So, how about you? What emotions or commitments does Valentine's Day evoke for you? Is it a day of little significance or a day of great importance?
If you delve into the origins of the day, you will find multiple myths and stories, some directly related to love, like the priest persecuted by Rome for marrying couples. My favorite tells of a priest imprisoned by the Roman government. While imprisoned, he was tasked with teaching the daughter of a Roman official. There was no romantic interest between the two, as the age difference was vast. What they had was a deep friendship. When not teaching, they would exchange letters about many things, until the day he was executed.
I love this story because it shifts Valentine's Day from a day solely centered on romantic love to friendship. Too often in relationships, friendship is lost, though initially, it was the catalyst that led to wanting more with the person you are with. My wife and I focus a lot on our "friendship" with each other. Roles such as romance, husband, wife, partner or business partner also play into our relationship, but ensuring that we remain friends is extremely important to us.
My challenge to you this Valentine's Day is to show your significant other how much you value your friendship. Make your friendship the theme of your romance. It may be the most needed thing in your current relationship—more so than a teddy bear or a heart-shaped box of chocolates.
As always, I would love to hear your thoughts. Email me at Peter@Levinsonteam.com or text me at 405.532.6969.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Peter Levinson is the eXp branch office broker for the Levinson Real Estate Team. FMI, visit forsaleokc.com or call 405.285.5750.
