Looking for a place where you and your suds buds can throw a few back and yell at oversized TV screens? Where you can slap each other’s backs and safely discuss your favorite Real Housewives franchise without fear of judgment or reprisal?
We’re clearly not experts on guy drinking, so we turned to Our Unofficial Panel of Guys Who Drink (OUPGWD) and asked: where goes the bros?
The answer is sort of surprising, and sort of not.
The swarthy stalwarts remain: The Black Duck and Southport’s The Horseshoe. While guys applaud the pints - “Beer so cold it could freeze a wart. Why can’t everybody do this?” - one laments, “their amazing bathrooms - that’s sarcasm.” Votes are conclusive that these two bars are the most conducive to doing whatever it is guys do without spousal adornment.
Dunville’s, which doesn’t cast a wide net but maintains a clutch of fiercely loyal barflies, is also lauded for its “I can’t be bothered with anything but a cold beer” ambiance, and “go there for hard drinking.”
Regular guy’s nights, however, are largely for new residents. Many members of OUPGWD went to the Duck once a month or so when they first moved here, to bond with a crowd of like-minded men, but then came a maturation of their collective dude-id and they moved on to a calmer locale.
Now, most of OUPGWD value bars not for their rollicking bar scene but for their “Good ambiance, laid back crowd, and nice staff.”
One man admits, “I always love Little Pub and Marley’s [in Wilton]. And Hudson Malone, but at a table so anyone I see is just a quick hello and a wave. Is that anti-social??” Well, no. I mean, you waved.
“The way I think about it is, I’m taking out of my crazy schedule to spend time with somebody so I want to give them my undivided attention.”
Another says, “I do enjoy beers on the Metro North with other Westporters. The return trip, not in the AM of course.”
And what are they drinking?
“Spicy marg at Bartaco.”
“I mostly stopped drinking liquor because of the after-effects. 190 Post has Sapporo on tap with a samurai sword handle which was cool.”
“Bombay Sapphire, tonic, splash of grapefruit juice, anywhere.”
“Tequila with lime and splash of soda wherever I go.”
“I once convinced myself I could drink as much vodka as I wanted to without repercussion, socially or otherwise.” (He was mistaken)
“Maker on the rocks with a splash of water.”
The Black Duck