For too long, fellow Americans, we have journeyed far and wide in search of the perfect family vacation.
We have braved cross-country treks in the Family Truckster, faced down moose in the Grand Canyon, and navigated the roundabouts of London.
But I am here to tell you, the pinnacle of family fun, the ultimate destination, lies right outside your own back door. I’m talking about a swimming pool, people! The big one! A real, honest-to-goodness, non-negotiable, legacy-defining family pool!
My vision was simple: a glimmering oasis where Rusty could practice his cannonballs, Audrey could work on her tan, and Ellen, my beautiful Ellen, could relax with a frosty beverage. A place for creating those perfect, picture-postcard family memories that are the hallmark of the Chief Family Fun Zone name.
The Triumph: A Drama-Free Pool Purchase
When I pulled the trigger on a pool from Meramec Pools and Outdoors, it felt like destiny. The folks at Meramec talked about "resort-style retreats" and "luxury outdoor experiences". Finally, people who get me.
The Features: More Spectacular Than 25,000 Lights
We went for the whole shebang!
Built-in tanning ledges (or "Baja shelves," as the pros call them).
Built-in benches for those important family meetings.
Dazzling underwater lights! I specifically requested enough underwater LEDs to be visible from space. Meramec talked me down to "tasteful," but trust me, with those lights on, it's a triumph! It’s brighter than the 25,000 twinkle lights I strung up that one Christmas, and with a significantly lower risk of city-wide power outages.
Pools…and Outdoors
Sure, everyone knows Meramec can build a beautiful pool…but here’s what surprised us: they do everything else we dreamed of for the backyard, too.
Fireplaces? Yep. And not the kind cousin Eddie tried to “help” build with leftover bricks and an old grill grate that almost burnt down the neighborhood.
Outdoor kitchens? Audrey tried to convince us hers was “basically the same” because she has a college tailgater and an extension cord. Spoiler: it’s not the same.
Putting greens? Russ insisted he could “just mow the yard really short.” Now the only uneven thing out there is cousin Eddie’s golf swing.
The best part?
Professional. Friendly. Quality Craftsmanship.
The Best Investment You’ll Ever Make
Here's the real beauty: I can step into my backyard each day knowing I have taken my jelly of the month club bonus and invested in something that brings our family joy. This leaves me time to focus on what’s important - like finally teaching the kids to swim properly instead of that panicked dog-paddle thing they do.
We don't have to pack the Family Truckster and drive across state lines to have a vacation. No hotel mix-ups. No wrong turns into bad neighborhoods. Our resort is right here.
My problems now include "which pool float should I buy?" I call that progress.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I see a squirrel on the diving board.