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Is it a Struggle to Love Yourself?

Local Roberta Whitney Hughes of Peaceful Living shares the Practice of Self Love

Article by Roberta Whitney Hughes

Photography by Megan at Make the Moment Last Photography

Originally published in Castle Rock City Lifestyle

Is it a Struggle to Love Yourself?

I haven’t always loved myself. Even with years of intentional practice under my belt, some days it still seems like the hardest thing to do.

Why is it so hard to love myself?

My guess is that it comes from years of being teased in grade school, middle school, and high school. I endured the teasing, but I was left with emotional scars and the feeling that there must be something wrong with me. As an adult, I have done enough work to know in my heart that there really is nothing wrong with me. Not one little thing. In fact, if I could revisit my little girl self during those formative years, my heart would say to her, “Your name is beautiful and so are you. You are unique and different. You stand out, and it’s okay if people don’t understand you. Keep shining your light as brightly as you can. Be the kind, generous, smart human being you are, and the people who matter will see you and understand you.”

It has taken time to gain this wisdom. It has also taken years of intentional practice. While my heart seems to understand, my brain can still be stubborn. On days when things aren’t going well, it is almost too easy for my brain to chime in with negative self-talk. That little voice gets really loud, pointing out how I have failed, listing all the things that aren’t working, telling me how I could be better… and leaving behind the thought there must be something wrong with me.

It is on these days, more than others, that the time I invest in practices that inspire self-care and self-love truly pays off. Having strong practices in place before the proverbial sh@! hits the fan, makes it possible for me to dive deeper than my stubborn brain to a more peaceful place in my heart where I can love myself just as I am.

Practicing Self-Love

My definition of self-love is taking care of your mental, emotional, and spiritual health. Self-love often means doing less and becoming quiet, so that you can nourish and nurture your whole self, body, mind, and spirit.

These are the tools that help me practice self-love:

meditation

prayer

journaling

talk therapy

learning to set healthy boundaries

spending time in nature

digital discipline

solitude

reflection

gratitude

forgiveness

affirmations and intentions

Practicing Self-Care

My definition of self-care is how you treat your body from the inside out. It includes the choices you make for the overall health and wellness of your physical form.

I find that self-care rituals turn my attention toward nurturing and nourishing my body and keeping my energy and stress levels in harmony. Self-care rituals offer me the opportunity to slow down, pay attention, and quiet the chatter in my brain. When my brain is focused on caring for my body, the negativity fades away. So, the more time I invest in self-care rituals, the more able I am to experience self-love.

The self-care rituals that help me quiet the mental chatter and restore my energy include:

hydration

preparing and eating healthy foods

exercise and movement

taking care of my skin

hot Epsom salts baths

keeping a consistent hygiene routine

keeping up with well checks

getting ready for the day, every day

dry brushing

self-massage

facial reflexology

Using Rituals to Practice Self-Love

Self-care rituals can be simple things that help you catch your breath and pause your to-do list. A ritual can involve one simple thing like moving away from the screen to drink a glass of water at set times throughout your workday.  A ritual can also be a combination of things that support your well being like dry brushing then taking a hot shower or bath.

When you are ready to create your own self-care rituals, try not to be overly ambitious when you begin. Keeping things simple will encourage you to practice more consistently. As you select your rituals, be playful and curious. Make sure the practices you choose fit your lifestyle because if they are too unfamiliar they will add more disruption, leaving you frustrated. The objective behind any self-care ritual is to nourish, nurture, and restore, so be careful not to overwhelm yourself with a flood of new things to learn. Keep returning to the practices that feel good, and be playful as you try out things that might work for you.

Sample Self-Care Rituals

Morning:

Wake up and practice digital discipline- avoid social media and email until you have taken the time to begin your day with self-care in mind.

Begin and complete your hygiene routine

Meditate for five minutes

Afternoon:

Make a hot cup of tea to sip at your desk while you work

Take a walk and get some fresh air and Vitamin D

Drink a full glass of water

Evening:

Skincare routine

Dry brushing

Take a shower or hot bath

Journal

About the Author:

Roberta Hughes is the owner and lead instructor at PeaceFull Living, a Colorado-based company specializing in helping people reduce the symptoms of stress in their lives. She holds two 200-hour yoga certifications, is a Nationally Certified Pilates Teacher, and is certified in Divine Sleep Yoga Nidra. Roberta offers both virtual and in-person instruction in Pilates, yoga and meditation to support people in wellness, personal growth and self-care practices.

About the Author:

Roberta Hughes is the owner and lead instructor at PeaceFull Living, a Colorado-based company specializing in helping people reduce the symptoms of stress in their lives. She holds two 200-hour yoga certifications, is a Nationally Certified Pilates Teacher, and is certified in Divine Sleep Yoga Nidra. Roberta offers both virtual and in-person instruction in Pilates, yoga and meditation to support people in wellness, personal growth and self-care practices.

Roberta lives in Colorado and enjoys writing, cooking, speaking on podcasts, and taking daily walks with Mikey the Doberman.

Self-love often means doing less and becoming quiet so that you can nourish and nurture your whole self, body, mind, and spirit.

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