After the last holiday party has petered out and the last decorations have come down, it’s time to set our intentions for a fantastic new year. This year, with the challenges brought upon us by COVID-19, it’s more important than ever to stay positive and teach the kids to do the same. Dr. Dan Marullo, a psychologist at Children’s of Alabama, pointed out that even without the current pandemic, the time between academic semesters is always ideal for discussing new lifestyle goals. Kids are perhaps out of the house less often, he noted, and virtual school, coupled with less social time, can mean wear and tear on both kids and parents. Fortunately, a little communication can go a long way. Here are a few tips.
Stick to Routines (Within Reason).
Routines are still an important part of life, even when both adults and kids are working from home. According to Dr. Marullo, small children equate a routine with safety and stability, while older kids are likely to produce better work with a bit of structure. While the routines don’t need to be militant, a family schedule will yield better results for all.
“The key is to help kids maintain some sense of normality. That helps them cope, for one thing. So set a time for virtual school. Set some parameters. By helping your kids stick to a schedule, you are helping yourself,” he explained.
Promote Social Connections.
Kids need other kids; there’s no doubt about it. Parents can help their own youngsters feel connected with peers by encouraging face-to-face conversations through Zoom and Skype — rather than just texting and Instagram — and, when safe, real-life encounters in small groups.
“Try to find ways to keep them engaged. There needs to be a balance with screen time and personal time. With COVID, you can loosen up a little bit, but that isn’t to say kids should have access to media all day long,” Dr. Marullo said. “Teach them to dial things back from a big party to one or two friends — connecting yet staying safe.”
Discuss the Benefits of Change.
Speaking of trading a football stadium brimming with kids for more modest gatherings, our recent scaled-back lifestyle is ideal for talking with your children about unexpected benefits. Reassure them that changing plans for the sake of everyone’s health and learning who our real friends are are invaluable lessons that perhaps only the pandemic could have given us.
“Help them understand that sometimes you have to do things that make you sad or disappointed, and sometimes things aren’t ideal, but there are positives from making sacrifices,” Dr. Marullo commented.
Mirror an Example.
Expecting your kids to implement positive changes in their lives but not illustrating those concepts yourself is not the way to meet family goals. Sure, everyone can have a bad day, but mirroring the behavior you want your kids to adopt will go a long way in forming their character. And if you slip up and lose your cool? Just talk about it, advised Dr. Marullo.
“Hiding our emotions won’t help kids learn,” he reiterated. “It’s OK to be angry and disappointed. But if you want your child to handle their own disappointment in a healthy way, how you manage your emotions has a lot to do with that.
“Kids are always watching. Your resolutions should be for your kids too. If you want your child to set new goals, they should be realistic, and you should do them together,” he added.