My mother, Rosalie, was immensely gifted with an innate personality to communicate lovingly with anyone. This natural ability was further grounded in the ability “to know and to do”—what the French aptly describe as a person having “savoir faire.” Mom was elegant and refined. She was the quintessential raconteur, or storyteller, who always used the colloquial phrase, “mind your manners”—spoken with a deep resonant voice and smiling eyes when telling a story meant to convey the importance of building character, instilling values and developing a positive attitude.
Born and raised in the southern part of the United States, coupled with her African ancestry that placed value on developing assuredness as an inner competency, was of utmost importance to her. We were steeped in stories and folktales that were shared to cultivate the characteristics of having a “beautiful” inner and outer countenance of self-composure, confidence with kindness and deliberate speech, without falseness.
“May this be the strongest cellular aspect of your DNA,” was her highest aim for her children.
During the past three years, I have sought to emotionally revisit the implications of my own thoughts and behaviors—both in personal attitude and within public discourse.
As a reminder of the virtues sorely needed in our personal encounters, community conversations and professional interactions, dear reader, I offer a few gentle ruminations and daily rituals practice suggestions to enhance your life’s beauty regime. Beauty is more than skin deep. When it radiates from the internal or the inside, to glow on the external or outside, it does not cost a cent to implement.
Beautiful Body: A daily fitness workout goes a long way. Are you exercising to merely alter your physical appearance? Or are you exercising to gain more physical stamina? Are you running or race walking to help you increase your mental strength? Or are you gaining more internal energy to be able to do the hard “push-up” work of staying healthy so you can be emotionally fit and courageous enough to help build a better world for humanity? A healthy body is necessary to achieve this task.
Beautiful Mind: What is your connection to the earth? Being in nature and spending time outdoors rekindles and reaffirms the beauty of nature and also our relationship to the timelessness of each grain of red sand that over eons of time carried by the wind’s breeze transformed into a majestic mountain. Nature and the elements, watching the changing of seasons, especially observing the autumn leaves change color and tumble down onto the earth’s floor, as winter covers them with rain and snow, reminds us of the own temporal nature, of our own mortality, and helps us know life and society are not static, but ever-changing.
Beautiful Words: Engaging in conversations, spending time with people who give or bring us joy or challenge our assumptions of boldfaced ignorance or social disruption, can both be met with curiosity and kindness. Savoir faire—is often the sheer act of verbal diplomacy. Knowing how to ask and frame a beautiful question, even when individuals are cognitively diametrically opposed in opinions and ideology takes practice—especially, when the goal is to advance understanding and appreciation of another person’s views, versus needing to gain consensus or righteous dismissal.
Beautiful Soul: Taking time for stillness, contemplation or prayer are the building blocks for increasing one’s self-identity and increasing one’s ability to be keenly aware of others. Generosity of intellect and nurturing the capacity for sincerity, deep listening and steadfastness are important soul-caretaking rituals. Ah, when we make time to still the mind’s busy thoughts, focus on our breath and center the heart in peacefulness, we are nourishing ourselves in profound ways. From this place of centeredness, we also provide soul-nourishment to everyone we encounter, just by being more present and centered within ourselves.
Beautiful Community: Fall in love with your community, again! Being acutely aware of how you treat neighbors and welcome newly arrived inhabitants. Striving to improve upon that will cause a chain reaction. Learning greetings and salutations in different languages, studying various world religions, getting acquainted with various aspects of humanity’s history, both the tragic and triumph increases understanding of cultures, helps create a more harmonious and beautiful community of differences. Want to be an ambassador of inner peace? Try increasing your generosity of spirit by exhibiting more loving kindness to others and make caring for your community a personal art form.
Janice Brooks is a social entrepreneur with a passion for creating and supporting transformational experiences that enliven artistic, creative, spiritual, cultural and literary arts. Janice believes producing events and sharing her keen cultural, political, and social commentary, in a wise-hearted and grace-filled manner, has encouraged and nurtured transparent connections within our community, specifically among community organizations, businesses, academia and religious institutions. Visit theliterarycafe.com; email: theliterarycafeutah@gmail.com
"Outer beauty charms, but inner beauty produces savoir faire. Outer beauty may indeed be glamorous, and often fades away, but inner beauty lasts for as long as you are alive.” –Janice Brooks
"Unapologetically speaking, a new savoir faire, the cultivation and refinement of one’s sensibilities within public discourse and personal encounters, will inspire more courageous, ethical and beautiful experiences as we all traverse new social territories together." –Janice Brooks