How do you keep the memory of your mother alive after she dies? It was important to keep my mother close to me after she died in October of 2021. I knew I would think of her every day; I would look for signs from her, but I needed more.
When we were going through her possessions, my siblings and I each chose things that meant something to us. We agreed we could even share some things – her flatware could be the star of the show at holidays and other special dinners. Whoever was hosting the event could use the flatware, but as the eldest child, I would be the keeper. I was the matriarch now.
Most pieces were still in the curved wooden box that my mother unwrapped as a wedding gift in 1955. A few forks, knives, and spoons were missing, disappearing over the years after having been loaned for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.
The flatware was made by The International Silver Company and was part of its Homes & Edwards Collection of Inlaid Silverplate. I had not seen my mom’s pattern anywhere else until one day, out of curiosity, I was scrolling through an online auction and saw a picture of a set of flatware in the same pattern as my mother’s. I began bidding, $100 at first, then $175, then $200. Someone else wanted this flatware, too, but did they want it because they liked it, or was it meaningful to them? I set a cap at $250. I told myself I would not bid more, but I was outbid again...
The adrenaline was flowing. My emotions were in charge. In the end, I paid over $500 for the flatware – far more than I wanted to pay, but worth every dollar. Surely, this was a sign from my mother. Now, there are enough knives, forks, and spoons for everyone at family gatherings.
My mom loved her sunglasses and because she worked as a frame stylist for a time, she wore various chic styles over the years. I had new lenses with my prescription put in my mother’s frames. On every sunny day, when I put on those sunglasses, I imagine my mom sitting next to me in the passenger seat of my car. We’re traveling together, as we often did on weekend getaways or day trips.
For those trips, my mom packed her makeup in a quilted floral cosmetics bag. I use it now, and when I take out a tube of lipstick, I think of her – because she always wanted to know if she was wearing enough lipstick. Had it worn off? Did she need to apply more?
My mother’s wallet was tucked away in a drawer at my house – her credit cards, license, and insurance cards all still in it. My own wallet had fallen apart, and I was in search of a new one when I remembered the wallet in the drawer. It’s mine now.
When I hold the wallet, I’m reminded of how well my mother managed money, and how she always found great bargains on clothes, which she loved. One of those bargains was a black sweater with a quilted satin front and gold zipper – stylish for an 89-year-old, but would it fit me? It sure did – now it’s one of my favorite sweaters.
This Mother’s Day will be the second without my mom, and although I miss her every day, I am grateful that I have found so many ways to keep her close.