For years, Adam and Ashley Cross longed to expand their family, but it never happened. This struggle, felt by many, was the root of adversity for the couple for quite some time. However, through the gift of adoption, Adam and Ashley were able to complete their family with the addition of their daughter Magnolia. We spoke with Ashley about her family's adoption story.
What led you and Adam to adopt?
Throughout our relationship, Adam and I have said we want to be a new branch on an old tree. This means so many things to us regarding our marriage and family as we both come from split homes. We always knew we wanted children, but conceiving was difficult for us. We were fortunate to be blessed with our son, Evan, after struggling for a year and a half. When Evan was two, we decided to try for another child. It never happened, and it almost tore us apart. Instead, we clung to each other and prayed. We both agreed that adoption was our next step in growing our family. We felt like God told us, “Here’s another opportunity to grow that branch”.
Tell us about your time in Korea acclimating as a family of four.
Our time in South Korea acclimating as a family of four was extremely difficult. Magnolia had been taken from the only person she had known and trusted since birth, her foster mom. I wondered for days if we had made the right decision as we all four cried in the floor of our apartment. Those tears were mixed with emotions—feelings of loss, uncertainty, grief, trauma, rejection, guilt, and anxiety. Yet as each new day came, moments of bonding and attachment began to form. Slowly, very slowly, Magnolia began to see us as safe and realized we weren’t going away.
What have you learned through this process?
Through the wait and the process, though, I learned so much. I learned the power of prayer and how God’s timing is perfect. While we joined our son Evan in praying for a baby, I also prayed for the woman who had the courageous love to allow us and Magnolia this opportunity, her birth mom. I also prayed for Magnolia’s foster mom, who had the selfless love to care for a child as her own knowing it was temporary and had been doing it for 30 years. I learned that I am not in control and to trust that God’s plans are bigger and better than anything I can try to orchestrate on my own.
What advice do you have for others on this journey?
For families considering adoption, my advice would be to pray and prepare. Pray for the birth family making this life-changing decision. Pray for the foster family who will experience their own grief and yet continue to love. Pray and prepare for your own heart and mind to know that adoption is both beautiful and tragic. It is both joyful and heartbreaking. No one really understands adoption like other adoptive families. Find your people. You will need them. But also know and believe you can do this! Your family can be a new branch on an old tree.